Nathan Bransford - The Forums

And by unanimous decision...shorter it is!

Thank you for your generousity. I will do my best to repay it.

Write well,

Suz

Okay gang. You all have been so amazingly helpful. The basic question is: Which second paragraph is better? The longer version or more concise? Taking all opinions. Thanks, Suz I’m seeking representation for my early middle-grade novel, THE ADVENTURES OF PUCKATOO complete at 30,000 words. Puckatoo i...

Here is an attempt to integrate more plot into the second paragraph without overwhelming it. I realize you can just tweak these things to death. There is no stopping. It is a sickness. Any feedback for the sickie would be greatly appreciated. Suz Puckatoo is a tiny Jack Russell Terrier with a big do...

Here is an updated version. I hope it addresses some of the concerns. Thank you so much to the folks who commented on this thread an on the first version, particularly you Quill for taking the time to comment on both. It means so much to get the feed back. I think if this is grammatically clean and ...

This is a second attempt at a query. I incorporated feedback from the first round from this forum and tried to tighten it and make it less run on. Also to get to the point of the conflict sooner. Does this query get your attention? And if you see grammatical errors, please help. Particularly the gra...

I am working on my query over in the query section. I thought I would put up the first chapter here to see what folks' response was like. Let 'er rip. Thanks. Suz I thought it was the perfect day to be a dog. I was speeding down the highway in Tom’s car, my paws hanging over the side of the door, my...

Hi Sarra, I've been following the thread and I agree that the character based query approach is much more compelling. I found your first query minus the first paragraph with the suggestions suggested by sbs_mjc1 really drew me into the story. This is something I wanted to read and it was short and t...

I finally have a completed, polished manuscript, so now I begin the process of working on a query. Thanks for any constructive feedback anyone may have on my query. Suz Dear {Agent} {Reason I chose this agent here} Puckatoo is a tiny Jack Russell Terrier with a big dog attitude. She thinks the good ...