Search found 69 matches

by arbraun
October 22nd, 2010, 4:04 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 120238

Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Mr. Bransford: Alex Benson just lost his wife to suicide. With his spouse’s death haunting his heart, he can’t live a peaceful life, so he goes to an Apostolic Pentecostal church hoping extreme faith will help him heal. But when an adolescent Wiccan hypocrite named Kaitidid Rogers develops a cr...
by arbraun
October 22nd, 2010, 3:48 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 283127

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: Book of Shadows Genre: horror (249 words) Strong winds ruffled her hair and sprinkles of sea peppered her face, charring her appearance. She bowed her head and noticed the sea held no water, only fire. Beads of sweat erupted on her skin. A cry ripped from her throat, causing Charon, the ferry...
by arbraun
October 21st, 2010, 3:44 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Nanowrimo
Replies: 88
Views: 21232

Re: Nanowrimo

I have signed up for NaNo as "arbraun" if anyone wants to add me as a friend.
by arbraun
October 19th, 2010, 1:03 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt
Replies: 9
Views: 2340

Re: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt

Thanks for the critiques. Yes, I have thought about renaming it Grimoire. I'm glad most of you don't think that first paragraph has to go, because I love it.
by arbraun
October 19th, 2010, 12:20 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis: Book of Shadows
Replies: 13
Views: 3031

Re: Synopsis: Book of Shadows

Thanks. I've seen The Devil's Backbone. Creepy little flick, that was.
by arbraun
October 11th, 2010, 12:27 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt
Replies: 9
Views: 2340

Re: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt

Thanks for the awesome critique!
by arbraun
October 10th, 2010, 10:31 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt
Replies: 9
Views: 2340

Re: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt

Thank you.
by arbraun
October 10th, 2010, 6:51 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt
Replies: 9
Views: 2340

Re: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to look at it.

I'm published as far as short stories and a chapter of a guidebook, but this is my first novel.
by arbraun
October 10th, 2010, 6:46 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis: Book of Shadows
Replies: 13
Views: 3031

Re: Synopsis: Book of Shadows

Thank you!
by arbraun
October 10th, 2010, 12:20 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Age Progression
Replies: 13
Views: 5840

Re: Age Progression

I think it can work, but I'd not advise new writers to write an underage protagonist or one that dies in an adult novel, since it will be harder to sell currently.
by arbraun
October 10th, 2010, 12:17 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Nanowrimo
Replies: 88
Views: 21232

Re: Nanowrimo

This will be my first year at NaNo. I've never done it before since On Writing by Stephen King uber-motivated me. I've never had a problem writing four hours a day. But it's always good to make new friends and possibly find some critique partners!
by arbraun
October 10th, 2010, 12:14 am
Forum: Books
Topic: How many books do you read per week (or month)?
Replies: 35
Views: 12140

Re: How many books do you read per week (or month)?

I read four books a month even though it's difficult because I know I'll get writer's block if I don't. Reading like a fiend inspires me to write, it never fails. I have a rule of fifty pages a night at least but, if it's a great book, I might not be able to put it down and I'll read ninety or one h...
by arbraun
October 9th, 2010, 5:10 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt
Replies: 9
Views: 2340

Book of Shadows, Horror Excerpt

This is a little more than the first page of my novel. The biggest thing I want to know is, with the first paragraph, does the graphic novel content starting the book come off as the "It was all a dream" ending that agents hate? I've been wondering about it, but have told myself that it's not a drea...
by arbraun
October 9th, 2010, 5:02 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Dialog critique please
Replies: 7
Views: 1865

Re: Dialog critique please

I thought I'd take a look at this because dialogue is my strength. Malcolm Porter arrived at the DA’s office a 8:45. Martin and his investigative team were assembled in the break room. “Good morning,” Martin greeted him. “Good morning.” Malcolm said greeting the other men in the room. "Good morning...
by arbraun
October 9th, 2010, 4:45 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Shadows - First Chapter (Revised)
Replies: 26
Views: 6969

Re: Shadows - First Chapter (Revised)

I love your opening, your first two paragraphs. It pulls me in, making me anticipate what's to come. I love "phantom throb" also. Good description. The "slim, onyx wings" part stopped me in my tracks, making me read it again. No big deal, but you might want to rearrange it. The way it's written, I'm...