Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Thanks, androidblues! I think I'll call this a fantasy instead of fantasy/horror. You're right - that second paragraph needs some tightening. Thanks again!

Draft three. *ding,ding* : ) Dear Agent, Krapper, Kansas hums with the news that a local high school girl has returned from the dead. But Leigh Baxton would rather pack her ears full of punk music than listen to the rumor mill. The town calls it a happy miracle, but Leigh knows better. She saw the g...

Thank you, HillaryJ! It seems like the second draft query was even more confusing than the first. Back to square one...

I know little about queries. Disclaimer aside, I'll take a stab at it. Charlie wants what any man wants: love, adventure and the coins of recently deceased souls. instant hook After 100 years as the Underworld Ferry Group’s most talented first mate, which is a little like being the best vice preside...

Thanks, Mark17! I must be doing something right if the query made you want to read the book, though the wording still feels off to me. I'll keep working on it...

This is draft two. I tightened it and hopefully explained a bit more, although it still doesn't feel quite right. Thank you in advance for any suggestions! Dear Agent, Leigh Baxton is terrified her mom will come back from the dead just like the cheerleader did. She has a hazy memory of her history t...

Excellent points! I'll keep working on it.

Dear Agent, Krapper, Kansas hums with the news that a local high school girl has returned from the dead. But Leigh Baxton would rather pack her ears full of punk music than listen to the rumor mill. The town calls it a happy miracle, but Leigh knows better. She saw the girl right after she dug herse...

Title: The Grave Winner Genre: YA Fantasy/Horror Word Count: 247 Mom’s wooden casket gleamed too brightly in the sun. The weight in my chest threatened to suffocate me if I looked at it any longer. I focused on the sky instead, at the black birds cutting across the wisps of clouds in a sharp v forma...