Search found 9 matches

by turtledinosaur
November 24th, 2010, 10:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: YA Horror/Fantasy Query

Thanks, androidblues! I think I'll call this a fantasy instead of fantasy/horror. You're right - that second paragraph needs some tightening. Thanks again!
by turtledinosaur
November 23rd, 2010, 9:33 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: YA Horror/Fantasy Query

Draft three. *ding,ding* : ) Dear Agent, Krapper, Kansas hums with the news that a local high school girl has returned from the dead. But Leigh Baxton would rather pack her ears full of punk music than listen to the rumor mill. The town calls it a happy miracle, but Leigh knows better. She saw the g...
by turtledinosaur
November 23rd, 2010, 8:09 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: YA Horror/Fantasy Query

Thank you, HillaryJ! It seems like the second draft query was even more confusing than the first. Back to square one...
by turtledinosaur
November 22nd, 2010, 6:40 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY -- THE FERRYMAN -- Revision No. 1
Replies: 12
Views: 2489

Re: QUERY -- THE FERRYMAN -- Revision No. 1

I know little about queries. Disclaimer aside, I'll take a stab at it. Charlie wants what any man wants: love, adventure and the coins of recently deceased souls. instant hook After 100 years as the Underworld Ferry Group’s most talented first mate, which is a little like being the best vice preside...
by turtledinosaur
November 22nd, 2010, 6:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: YA Horror/Fantasy Query

Thanks, Mark17! I must be doing something right if the query made you want to read the book, though the wording still feels off to me. I'll keep working on it...
by turtledinosaur
November 21st, 2010, 4:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: YA Horror/Fantasy Query

This is draft two. I tightened it and hopefully explained a bit more, although it still doesn't feel quite right. Thank you in advance for any suggestions! Dear Agent, Leigh Baxton is terrified her mom will come back from the dead just like the cheerleader did. She has a hazy memory of her history t...
by turtledinosaur
November 21st, 2010, 3:05 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: YA Horror/Fantasy Query

Excellent points! I'll keep working on it.
by turtledinosaur
November 20th, 2010, 7:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Horror/Fantasy Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

YA Horror/Fantasy Query

Dear Agent, Krapper, Kansas hums with the news that a local high school girl has returned from the dead. But Leigh Baxton would rather pack her ears full of punk music than listen to the rumor mill. The town calls it a happy miracle, but Leigh knows better. She saw the girl right after she dug herse...
by turtledinosaur
July 16th, 2010, 3:47 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 284809

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: The Grave Winner Genre: YA Fantasy/Horror Word Count: 247 Mom’s wooden casket gleamed too brightly in the sun. The weight in my chest threatened to suffocate me if I looked at it any longer. I focused on the sky instead, at the black birds cutting across the wisps of clouds in a sharp v forma...