Sounds like a fun story.
I agree with Quill's observations.
Also, in the first paragraph, I'd insert the word "being" ...center of attention.
Good job & good Luck!
Search found 2 matches
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- July 13th, 2010, 3:12 am
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 312186
Title: Sane Enough to Know She's Crazy Genre: Women's Fiction Word Count: 250 Her mind had never been so clouded, or so clear. “You can’t do this,” she told herself. Yet, as she approached the train station, Carrie wasn’t sure whether or not she would finally give in to him. He had been trying to co...