Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Thanks Wilderness and Elena, also Whip-slip! You have all been so helpful. I appreciate all of the comments and suggestions, and am going to work hard to get this revised one more time before my pitch appointment next week.

Sarra

Big thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to look over my pitch and give such great comments and feedback. I am going to keep experimenting with formats. I definitely don't want to rush this, because I know how important the query letter is in this business. I appreciate everyone who has c...

Okay, so I've been playing around with a totally new direction here. What if I do something more like: Science can't begin to explain the mysterious plague sweeping the globe, killing millions within weeks of the first infection. The fate of humanity rests in the hands of five remarkable teens whose...

Wow, I think this is very clear. You have such a great hook and this query really showcases the big choice Corvette will have to make. I like this version because you explain a little more about what deathlings are and why people dread becoming one of them. The only part for me that is still muddy i...

Thanks for all of the feedback so far, it's really eye-opening. I feel like I've written and rewritten the query a thousand times, lol... and it still needs so much work! The story focuses on Parrish in large part, but it is told in multiple third person POV including the four other teens and the w...

**Hi everyone. I have been spending some time lately reading through some great queries here, and I think I finally have a starting point for my pitch. I have a huge pitch appointment next week, and I am planning to start sending out agent queries soon, so if anyone has any feedback, I would sincer...

Control will be theirs; it’s time for the humans to be back on top. Deathling’s hold inconceivable power that has diseased the human mind with paranoia. These magical creatures have to be reigned in and managed – it’s irrelevant they were human once, because every man knows deathlings are dangerous...

This sounds like an interesting story, but it's hard to get a more specific idea about what's actually going on in the plot. In your query, you definitely give more of a conversational overview of the structure and themes of the novel, rather than the specifics of the plot. In your latest post, you ...

I think this sounds like a unique premise. It's definitely more clear for me the second time around. The first query didn't sound like a YA to me, but that changed completely with the second try. Even better, she seems to like him, too, because every day he rushes home from school, she's waiting for...