Search found 37 matches

by RebeccaB
August 27th, 2010, 2:07 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)
Replies: 16
Views: 2667

Re: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)

Yes I understand it is very odd reading someone elses idea of your query but I found it helped me see how it is coming across when others did the same with my query. Yes the aspects I put in is how your query attempts made me view your story. Which was my intention when writing my reply that way. On...
by RebeccaB
August 24th, 2010, 4:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)
Replies: 16
Views: 2667

Re: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)

For Kenzie Johnson, keeping her mom around just got a lot harder. For a hook, this one needs a little more. Remember that the hook is the first thing the agent reads, so it needs to rock. The rest of the query Possibly; Kenzie is used to her mother taking off, being a skinwalker means that she is fo...
by RebeccaB
August 21st, 2010, 3:50 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Replies: 30
Views: 4957

Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*

Thanks Doug. I was thinking I would take out "this is insane". I will prob have a little play and then start e-mailing agents.
Thank you to everyone that helped. If all does not go well I will call on u all again for help with a new one.

Happy inking
RebeccaB
by RebeccaB
August 20th, 2010, 5:48 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Replies: 30
Views: 4957

Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*

Thanks Clara. This one was my firt attempt. The updated one is on pg 3. But thanks for taking the time.
by RebeccaB
August 20th, 2010, 6:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Replies: 30
Views: 4957

Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*

Yes Quill, you are right, the two species do not come together. If you would like the spoiler let me know and i will send it via a private message.

Happy Inking
RebeccaB
by RebeccaB
August 20th, 2010, 5:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Replies: 30
Views: 4957

Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *NEW UPDATE PG 3*

This my latest attempt, I feel like it is close, I hope you all agree. Dear Agent, Desmoree shale is a feisty fashion photographer living in Belfox, Australia. The death of her mother breaks the spell of protection, revealing her to the seers, and awakening her dormant fairy abilities. Desmoree is t...
by RebeccaB
August 20th, 2010, 1:28 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query attempt for DIE AGAIN.
Replies: 19
Views: 2453

Re: Query attempt for DIE AGAIN.

Firstly, This is too short! Detective Ethan Moon is hunting a killer he knows, and loves, and misses. Too many this and this and this. Possibly; Detective Ethan Moon is hunting a killer. But this killer is no stranger, it is his brother. S omeone he also thought was dead -his brother; the subject of...
by RebeccaB
August 20th, 2010, 1:08 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: New Query for RONNIE FOR REAL
Replies: 37
Views: 6303

Re: Query for RONNIE FOR REAL *needs new eyes*

Hi, This is my first time reading your query, so i hope my 'new eyes' are what you are after. I have chosen to submit to you because [insert personalized stuff]. RONNIE FOR REAL is a young adult novel told in two parts: Freshman Year and Senior Year. Don't know if i would put this first, I like to s...
by RebeccaB
August 20th, 2010, 12:41 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Replies: 30
Views: 4957

Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *NEW UPDATE PG 3*

I am not sure if this one gives enough information. It needs to really grab the agent, so any help would be really appeciated.
by RebeccaB
August 19th, 2010, 11:32 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: (This thread is not yet titled)
Replies: 38
Views: 10354

Re: (This thread is not yet titled)

U bet I'm pushy. I need your opinion and seeing as I have not had a chance to grab u with your hectic work life I will continue to resort to posting messages on here. Btw how often do u think a publisher changes your much loved title?
by RebeccaB
August 19th, 2010, 5:01 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: (This thread is not yet titled)
Replies: 38
Views: 10354

Re: (This thread is not yet titled)

I love the idea of chapter titles. Asthetically they are much nicer at the top of a page and gives the reader a tiny glimpse of what's coming.
by RebeccaB
August 19th, 2010, 7:58 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: (This thread is not yet titled)
Replies: 38
Views: 10354

Re: (This thread is not yet titled)

Now Heather B get off the other forums and read my query!

PLEASE
by RebeccaB
August 19th, 2010, 7:57 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: (This thread is not yet titled)
Replies: 38
Views: 10354

Re: (This thread is not yet titled)

I seem to come up with fantastic titles for other peoples work (So they say), but when it comes to my own, It just won't come to me as easily. Heather B is writing a series at the moment that i titled, and i still can't believe i came up with them. They fit the story, roll off the tongue, and stick ...
by RebeccaB
August 19th, 2010, 5:14 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)
Replies: 16
Views: 2667

Re: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 2)

Welcome to the world of queries, I have been struggling with my own at the moment, so i hope i can help in any way with yours. I have found the replies to my query extremely helpful. Kenzie knows three things for sure in the beginning of September: she really likes her best friend, the new boy in sc...
by RebeccaB
August 19th, 2010, 4:33 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited
Replies: 30
Views: 4593

Re: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited

Firstly, I like this one better. Having a main character to relate to grounds the reader. Janie Lloyd was having a bad day; the hot, humid heat had given her a migraine and she was so bored with life that even tormenting the office junior had lost its fun. On top of this, her mother called to tell ...