Search found 14 matches
- July 6th, 2011, 11:06 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: SWANSONG: THE FALLEN Sci-fi thriller
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4389
Re: Query: SWANSONG: THE FALLEN Sci-fi thriller
Hi there, Intriguing story idea, and I think you've made this a much tighter and better query letter. Here are my humble comments! Dear Great sage of Agenty wisdom, In the blink of an eye, the world's children vanished, taken by an alien power intent on killing or enslaving those left behind. A mino...
- July 6th, 2011, 10:37 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3787
Re: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
Hi Guardian, You're absolutely right, it is a short-term cheating of only a few lines, not a whole story, which is not so serious. I would definitely maintain that there are massively important differences between transporting or surprising a reader and cheating them, but let's leave that for anothe...
- July 6th, 2011, 6:21 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3787
Re: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
Hi Guardian, Fair enough! It's your work, and you know what you're going for better than anybody else does. But there is one point I'd like to discuss a little further--I think it could even spark a lively discussion on the All Things Writing board--and that is the question of cheating the reader. I...
- July 5th, 2011, 12:14 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3787
Re: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
Hi there Guardian, Thanks for sharing your work! I think you have colorful characters and nice, noir-y tone. My humble comments are below. Pale Moonlight (Part of the short story collection, 7 Post Meridiem) By Istvan Szabo, Ifj. The silver knife glints in the dim light as the sharp edge cuts deeper...
- July 4th, 2011, 3:26 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: YA Fantasy Query: THE DRAGON'S NEPHEW
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5873
Re: YA Fantasy Query: THE DRAGON'S NEPHEW
Hi there, This is very intriguing premise and you have really interesting elements in this letter. My comments are below. Chris Drake hunts dragons with an assault rifle. That’s a pretty cool job for a sixteen-year-old. Too bad he started breathing fire and growing scales. If the dragon slayers’ gui...
- July 4th, 2011, 3:02 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Alternate history - science fiction: THE PRINCE OF TROUBLE
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3801
Re: Alternate history - science fiction: THE PRINCE OF TROUBLE
I think you've got an excellent query here and I would want to read this book. My comments are mostly minor. Like the previous poster I take some issue with the name of Stygia, not because it's overused, but because I generally dislike it when planets with intelligent aliens have names that come fro...
- July 4th, 2011, 2:38 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 213
- Views: 183616
Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Dear Mr. Bransford, Timid, friendless Samuel Kelly is minding his own business in a cafe, devouring a newspaper article about a recent spate of trichinosis deaths—a tragedy that could give his animal rights organization the boost it needs—when a haggard, bearlike stranger asks for the sports section...
- December 4th, 2010, 6:04 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: How to get through a writer’s workshop without throwing up
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3708
Re: How to get through a writer’s workshop without throwing up
While specific comments in workshops are usually on target and very helpful, the thing I find most challenging is sifting through the carefully balanced praise/criticsim mix to find whether people actually think the work, overall, is good. Most people in workshops are polite enough to do the "p...
- December 4th, 2010, 5:22 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?
- Replies: 10
- Views: 3180
Re: My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?
Thank you all for the posts! Very helpful advice from everyone and I really appreciate your taking the time to respond.
- December 1st, 2010, 12:22 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?
- Replies: 10
- Views: 3180
My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?
Nathan posted a question about this a while back but I think it wasn't really sufficiently discussed by respondents and I'd like to resurrect it, as I think about it all the time. Whenever I've finished a work, I'm tingling with excitement, and as I read through for final edits it I can't help but f...
- July 31st, 2010, 4:28 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2962
Re: Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?
Dios and Poptart, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It is great to hear from people who have been there. I think your advice--going ahead with a new project for a few months and getting some perspective--is what I am leaning toward. The idea that I might not come back to the first book is...
- July 31st, 2010, 7:06 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2962
Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?
Hi all, I've written a 100,000 MS that I've had some revelations about recently. The plot is too complicated and I have way too many characters. I started to plan the rewrite and it's looking very daunting. I think it would take another year to get the novel rewritten and streamlined to the point it...
- June 30th, 2010, 5:43 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: First Page
- Replies: 4
- Views: 2459
Re: First Page
Hi Robert, An action-packed scene with lots of hooks to make the reader interested and curious to read more. My comments are mostly about painting a clear picture in the reader's head of what exactly is going on. When I read "belly to earth" I thought of someone's belly actually against th...
- June 25th, 2010, 3:06 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Something's wrong... Help please. [new version]
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4374
Re: Something's wrong... I can't find it. Help please.
Hi Blanche, I thought this was fun to read, with a strong and consistent voice, evocative descriptions, and very interesting characters. Of course better than any compliment I could give is the fact that several agents have requested fulls from you. That's fantastic! I haven't started querying for m...