Search found 14 matches

by Matt_X
July 6th, 2011, 11:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: SWANSONG: THE FALLEN Sci-fi thriller
Replies: 10
Views: 1874

Re: Query: SWANSONG: THE FALLEN Sci-fi thriller

Hi there, Intriguing story idea, and I think you've made this a much tighter and better query letter. Here are my humble comments! Dear Great sage of Agenty wisdom, In the blink of an eye, the world's children vanished, taken by an alien power intent on killing or enslaving those left behind. A mino...
by Matt_X
July 6th, 2011, 10:37 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
Replies: 7
Views: 1714

Re: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)

Hi Guardian, You're absolutely right, it is a short-term cheating of only a few lines, not a whole story, which is not so serious. I would definitely maintain that there are massively important differences between transporting or surprising a reader and cheating them, but let's leave that for anothe...
by Matt_X
July 6th, 2011, 6:21 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
Replies: 7
Views: 1714

Re: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)

Hi Guardian, Fair enough! It's your work, and you know what you're going for better than anybody else does. But there is one point I'd like to discuss a little further--I think it could even spark a lively discussion on the All Things Writing board--and that is the question of cheating the reader. I...
by Matt_X
July 5th, 2011, 12:14 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)
Replies: 7
Views: 1714

Re: Pale Moonlight - Noir opening (1st edition)

Hi there Guardian, Thanks for sharing your work! I think you have colorful characters and nice, noir-y tone. My humble comments are below. Pale Moonlight (Part of the short story collection, 7 Post Meridiem) By Istvan Szabo, Ifj. The silver knife glints in the dim light as the sharp edge cuts deeper...
by Matt_X
July 4th, 2011, 3:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Fantasy Query: THE DRAGON'S NEPHEW
Replies: 13
Views: 2172

Re: YA Fantasy Query: THE DRAGON'S NEPHEW

Hi there, This is very intriguing premise and you have really interesting elements in this letter. My comments are below. Chris Drake hunts dragons with an assault rifle. That’s a pretty cool job for a sixteen-year-old. Too bad he started breathing fire and growing scales. If the dragon slayers’ gui...
by Matt_X
July 4th, 2011, 3:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Alternate history - science fiction: THE PRINCE OF TROUBLE
Replies: 8
Views: 1770

Re: Alternate history - science fiction: THE PRINCE OF TROUBLE

I think you've got an excellent query here and I would want to read this book. My comments are mostly minor. Like the previous poster I take some issue with the name of Stygia, not because it's overused, but because I generally dislike it when planets with intelligent aliens have names that come fro...
by Matt_X
July 4th, 2011, 2:38 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 213
Views: 116364

Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Mr. Bransford, Timid, friendless Samuel Kelly is minding his own business in a cafe, devouring a newspaper article about a recent spate of trichinosis deaths—a tragedy that could give his animal rights organization the boost it needs—when a haggard, bearlike stranger asks for the sports section...
by Matt_X
December 4th, 2010, 6:04 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: How to get through a writer’s workshop without throwing up
Replies: 7
Views: 1580

Re: How to get through a writer’s workshop without throwing up

While specific comments in workshops are usually on target and very helpful, the thing I find most challenging is sifting through the carefully balanced praise/criticsim mix to find whether people actually think the work, overall, is good. Most people in workshops are polite enough to do the "praise...
by Matt_X
December 4th, 2010, 5:22 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?
Replies: 10
Views: 1217

Re: My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?

Thank you all for the posts! Very helpful advice from everyone and I really appreciate your taking the time to respond.
by Matt_X
December 1st, 2010, 12:22 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?
Replies: 10
Views: 1217

My writing has problems. BUT WHICH ONES?

Nathan posted a question about this a while back but I think it wasn't really sufficiently discussed by respondents and I'd like to resurrect it, as I think about it all the time. Whenever I've finished a work, I'm tingling with excitement, and as I read through for final edits it I can't help but f...
by Matt_X
July 31st, 2010, 4:28 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?
Replies: 6
Views: 1228

Re: Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?

Dios and Poptart, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It is great to hear from people who have been there. I think your advice--going ahead with a new project for a few months and getting some perspective--is what I am leaning toward. The idea that I might not come back to the first book is...
by Matt_X
July 31st, 2010, 7:06 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?
Replies: 6
Views: 1228

Fix the novel with a scalpel? Or an ax?

Hi all, I've written a 100,000 MS that I've had some revelations about recently. The plot is too complicated and I have way too many characters. I started to plan the rewrite and it's looking very daunting. I think it would take another year to get the novel rewritten and streamlined to the point it...
by Matt_X
June 30th, 2010, 5:43 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page
Replies: 4
Views: 1146

Re: First Page

Hi Robert, An action-packed scene with lots of hooks to make the reader interested and curious to read more. My comments are mostly about painting a clear picture in the reader's head of what exactly is going on. When I read "belly to earth" I thought of someone's belly actually against the earth, w...
by Matt_X
June 25th, 2010, 3:06 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Something's wrong... Help please. [new version]
Replies: 10
Views: 1717

Re: Something's wrong... I can't find it. Help please.

Hi Blanche, I thought this was fun to read, with a strong and consistent voice, evocative descriptions, and very interesting characters. Of course better than any compliment I could give is the fact that several agents have requested fulls from you. That's fantastic! I haven't started querying for m...