It's yours: )OneChoice1 wrote:Bug me all you want. It brings improvements out of me ^_^
I really like this line. Can i use it?c.ska wrote:'one of Britain's most notorious crime families'
Search found 25 matches
- January 8th, 2010, 4:47 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
- Replies: 30
- Views: 12062
Re: Query Status: Under Construction
- January 7th, 2010, 5:52 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Let my mistakes be your guide. QL evolution
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3737
Re: Let my mistakes be your guide. QL evolution
interesting exercise! thanks for posting! it made me go back to my VERY FIRST query (for a book I wrote years ago)...and it gave me a good laugh! A real good one...c.ska
- January 7th, 2010, 5:34 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
- Replies: 30
- Views: 12062
Re: Query Status: Under Construction
Sorry I I didn't see the latest one ; ) you've hit on many of my points here, well done, I can see a lot of improvement. but you know i'm still going to bug you about the 'British Mafia' and the execution... c.ska Yes, it would make more sense to show where the romance comes in. Okay, here goes *New...
- January 7th, 2010, 4:36 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
- Replies: 30
- Views: 12062
Re: Query Status: Under Construction
i agree, great improvement! a few more thoughts though... Okay, more details on the way. Dear [Agent's name]: What the world doesn’t give you, the world can’t take away. It all has to do with faith. Use Somebody is an inspirational romance and is approximately 156,000 words. Seven year olds are typi...
- January 7th, 2010, 6:57 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8804
Re: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
thank you both! I really appreciate your comments...c.ska
- January 5th, 2010, 5:59 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3153
Re: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
Mountain Lion, there's something about this I really quite like, though I must agree with previous feedback - it did leave me confused. let's see if my comments make any sense to you... I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS: At some point every boy has to face the question: has he outgrown monster stories...
- January 5th, 2010, 5:38 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
- Replies: 30
- Views: 12062
Re: Query Status: Under Construction
OneChoice, my first impression reading through your query was that for a manuscript of that size, the query is well, very short! Now of course size doesn't matter and all the rest of it, but I think I'd like some more details in this...but let's start with some specific feedback. Take two: here is a...
- January 5th, 2010, 8:27 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8804
Re: Night Butterfly - third attempt - feedback welcomed!
First out, RiayNight and Yoshima, thank you both! I must admit I was hoping to get away with the third draft as my final one...BUT nothing in life is easy, right? I've slept on the new feedback a few nights and now have somthing of a revision to show for it. I hope it answers a few questions. Howeve...
- January 3rd, 2010, 7:55 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!
- Replies: 9
- Views: 5077
Re: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!
RiayNight, please find below my thoughts: ) Dear [insert agent's name here], [Personalized sentence] Disruption. Initiation. The Unknowable. So say the Runes, the ancient Viking Oracle of marked stones ominously laid out before college freshman Riley Dawson on the eve of her departure for Lyndon Sta...
- December 30th, 2009, 6:58 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Confession time
- Replies: 33
- Views: 14258
Re: Confession time
pyjamas. in bed, if i can! haha.
- December 30th, 2009, 6:57 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: sub-plot question
- Replies: 9
- Views: 4158
Re: sub-plot question
'In a book filled with dreams' it doesn't seem out of place at all. but that comes from someone with very vivid dreams ; ) but I agree that you should think about HOW it's done. it might seem very clear to you - but not neceessarily for the reader! happy writing! c.ska
- December 30th, 2009, 6:29 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8804
Re: Night Butterfly - third attempt - feedback welcomed!
clio, thanks! I'm glad you liked it, because, I'm starting to warm towards it myself...finally. good point made too! c.ska
- December 28th, 2009, 7:47 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8804
Re: Night Butterfly - query revised - feedback welcomed!
Thanks to everyone's wonderful feedback, I now have a spankin' new draft! I really appreciate your help on this : ) Dear Agent, (Personalised sentence) In Russia there is no city, town or village that has not seen some of its girls disappear. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, pretty young gir...
- December 28th, 2009, 7:25 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: All thoughts are welcome...Query**
- Replies: 11
- Views: 5034
Re: All thoughts are welcome...Query**
shadow, I definitely like the latest revision the best, well done ; ) One thought though...If your story is really set in modern day England, you might need to revise a few words and definitions here and there to get the right 'feel'...'senior prom' for instance sounds very North American, as does '...
- December 26th, 2009, 4:46 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: MG historical novel, query revised
- Replies: 25
- Views: 9330
Re: MG historical novel, query revised
Just to say - great revision - and best of luck! c.ska