Search found 25 matches

by c.ska
January 8th, 2010, 4:47 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
Replies: 30
Views: 4831

Re: Query Status: Under Construction

OneChoice1 wrote:Bug me all you want. It brings improvements out of me ^_^
c.ska wrote:'one of Britain's most notorious crime families'
I really like this line. Can i use it?
It's yours: )
by c.ska
January 7th, 2010, 5:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Let my mistakes be your guide. QL evolution
Replies: 7
Views: 1658

Re: Let my mistakes be your guide. QL evolution

interesting exercise! thanks for posting! it made me go back to my VERY FIRST query (for a book I wrote years ago)...and it gave me a good laugh! A real good one...c.ska
by c.ska
January 7th, 2010, 5:34 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
Replies: 30
Views: 4831

Re: Query Status: Under Construction

Sorry I I didn't see the latest one ; ) you've hit on many of my points here, well done, I can see a lot of improvement. but you know i'm still going to bug you about the 'British Mafia' and the execution... c.ska Yes, it would make more sense to show where the romance comes in. Okay, here goes *New...
by c.ska
January 7th, 2010, 4:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
Replies: 30
Views: 4831

Re: Query Status: Under Construction

i agree, great improvement! a few more thoughts though... Okay, more details on the way. Dear [Agent's name]: What the world doesn’t give you, the world can’t take away. It all has to do with faith. Use Somebody is an inspirational romance and is approximately 156,000 words. Seven year olds are typi...
by c.ska
January 7th, 2010, 6:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
Replies: 19
Views: 3463

Re: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!

thank you both! I really appreciate your comments...c.ska
by c.ska
January 5th, 2010, 5:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK
Replies: 5
Views: 1266

Re: Query critique RYAN WRITES A BOOK

Mountain Lion, there's something about this I really quite like, though I must agree with previous feedback - it did leave me confused. let's see if my comments make any sense to you... I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS: At some point every boy has to face the question: has he outgrown monster stories...
by c.ska
January 5th, 2010, 5:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Status: Under Construction
Replies: 30
Views: 4831

Re: Query Status: Under Construction

OneChoice, my first impression reading through your query was that for a manuscript of that size, the query is well, very short! Now of course size doesn't matter and all the rest of it, but I think I'd like some more details in this...but let's start with some specific feedback. Take two: here is a...
by c.ska
January 5th, 2010, 8:27 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
Replies: 19
Views: 3463

Re: Night Butterfly - third attempt - feedback welcomed!

First out, RiayNight and Yoshima, thank you both! I must admit I was hoping to get away with the third draft as my final one...BUT nothing in life is easy, right? I've slept on the new feedback a few nights and now have somthing of a revision to show for it. I hope it answers a few questions. Howeve...
by c.ska
January 3rd, 2010, 7:55 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!
Replies: 9
Views: 1931

Re: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!

RiayNight, please find below my thoughts: ) Dear [insert agent's name here], [Personalized sentence] Disruption. Initiation. The Unknowable. So say the Runes, the ancient Viking Oracle of marked stones ominously laid out before college freshman Riley Dawson on the eve of her departure for Lyndon Sta...
by c.ska
December 30th, 2009, 6:58 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Confession time
Replies: 33
Views: 5048

Re: Confession time

pyjamas. in bed, if i can! haha.
by c.ska
December 30th, 2009, 6:57 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: sub-plot question
Replies: 9
Views: 1516

Re: sub-plot question

'In a book filled with dreams' it doesn't seem out of place at all. but that comes from someone with very vivid dreams ; ) but I agree that you should think about HOW it's done. it might seem very clear to you - but not neceessarily for the reader! happy writing! c.ska
by c.ska
December 30th, 2009, 6:29 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
Replies: 19
Views: 3463

Re: Night Butterfly - third attempt - feedback welcomed!

clio, thanks! I'm glad you liked it, because, I'm starting to warm towards it myself...finally. good point made too! c.ska
by c.ska
December 28th, 2009, 7:47 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
Replies: 19
Views: 3463

Re: Night Butterfly - query revised - feedback welcomed!

Thanks to everyone's wonderful feedback, I now have a spankin' new draft! I really appreciate your help on this : ) Dear Agent, (Personalised sentence) In Russia there is no city, town or village that has not seen some of its girls disappear. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, pretty young gir...
by c.ska
December 28th, 2009, 7:25 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: All thoughts are welcome...Query**
Replies: 11
Views: 1988

Re: All thoughts are welcome...Query**

shadow, I definitely like the latest revision the best, well done ; ) One thought though...If your story is really set in modern day England, you might need to revise a few words and definitions here and there to get the right 'feel'...'senior prom' for instance sounds very North American, as does '...
by c.ska
December 26th, 2009, 4:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG historical novel, query revised
Replies: 25
Views: 3666

Re: MG historical novel, query revised

Just to say - great revision - and best of luck! c.ska