Search found 3 matches
- June 19th, 2010, 2:03 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: The Butterfly Key - Prologue first 4 paragraphs
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3631
Re: The Butterfly Key - Prologue first 4 paragraphs
I always find family troubles interesting. Nice start. I'd cut a lot of the adjectives. For me, they're a bit like cotton wads between the toes. Best, Elizabeth Prologue Snowflakes the size of cotton balls (cotton balls are downy--too many descriptive words?)fluttered from the heavens on that unforg...
- June 14th, 2010, 2:04 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: The Land Doesn't Leave
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3807
The Land Doesn't Leave
I've just joined this forum, and I have responded to one query for feedback. I do hope to spend more time reading other's queries and responding. Here's my query: I've written a 70,000 word novel about a young woman Eva Thompson who returns to her Maine island home upon the death of her mother, to f...
- June 14th, 2010, 1:52 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Which opener grabs you the most? Women's fiction.
- Replies: 24
- Views: 12971
Re: Which opener grabs you the most? Women's fiction.
Hi, I liked the second one better. Quicker to the problem. Less odd metaphors, such as driving strongly, or as hard as I could. I'm not sure how one can drive "hard" or "strongly"... excuse me if I forgot the exact phrase (I couldn't scroll up to reread it before responding). In ...