Search found 3 matches

by emburke207
June 19th, 2010, 2:03 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Butterfly Key - Prologue first 4 paragraphs
Replies: 9
Views: 1597

Re: The Butterfly Key - Prologue first 4 paragraphs

I always find family troubles interesting. Nice start. I'd cut a lot of the adjectives. For me, they're a bit like cotton wads between the toes. Best, Elizabeth Prologue Snowflakes the size of cotton balls (cotton balls are downy--too many descriptive words?)fluttered from the heavens on that unforg...
by emburke207
June 14th, 2010, 2:04 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Land Doesn't Leave
Replies: 8
Views: 1798

The Land Doesn't Leave

I've just joined this forum, and I have responded to one query for feedback. I do hope to spend more time reading other's queries and responding. Here's my query: I've written a 70,000 word novel about a young woman Eva Thompson who returns to her Maine island home upon the death of her mother, to f...
by emburke207
June 14th, 2010, 1:52 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Which opener grabs you the most? Women's fiction.
Replies: 24
Views: 7131

Re: Which opener grabs you the most? Women's fiction.

Hi, I liked the second one better. Quicker to the problem. Less odd metaphors, such as driving strongly, or as hard as I could. I'm not sure how one can drive "hard" or "strongly"... excuse me if I forgot the exact phrase (I couldn't scroll up to reread it before responding). In fact, I might have s...