Search found 30 matches
- October 18th, 2010, 11:22 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Forgotten Gods Query-- trying again
- Replies: 17
- Views: 5992
Re: Forgotten Gods Query-- trying again
Taking another shot at it. Thanks again for the feedback. It’s winter, 1745. Scotland is losing a war for independence. The advancing British army has orders to leave no survivors. In desperation, Robert Maxwell and his fellow soldiers beg for supernatural aid from the daione sìdhe—faeries long ago...
- October 18th, 2010, 10:44 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY: The Pterrible Pteranodon
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2950
QUERY: The Pterrible Pteranodon
Hi All, Many thanks in advance for your comments on this query. I appreciate your willingness to share your opinions, be they in-depth or overviews. -- Tom ========================================= A steam-driven mechanical pterodactyl is out of control over Victorian-era London and the Queen is not...
- October 17th, 2010, 2:06 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Forgotten Gods Query-- trying again
- Replies: 17
- Views: 5992
Re: Forgotten Gods Query-- trying again
As usual, Quill did his fantastic, thorough job of working out what works and what doesn't work here. Instead of doing that, I'll give you some general impressions of things that stood out to me in the problematic sense. * You have four named characters in your query which, from what I've read, is a...
- July 9th, 2010, 10:55 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited
- Replies: 30
- Views: 10771
Re: Don't come to the House Tonight
Dear...... As per your website guidelines, I am attaching the first ten pages of my book ‘Don’t Come to the House Tonight”, and also a one page synopsis. You have only seconds to engage an agent (or their assistant) with your query. They're wading through hundreds of them at a time with the goal of...
- July 3rd, 2010, 1:22 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - 'When Sleeping Girls Wake'
- Replies: 11
- Views: 4692
Re: Query - 'When Sleeping Girls Wake'
This has been through several revisions. I'd appreciate any help or comments to get to a final version. Thanks, in advance. Dear Agent; David Harvey has a college degree, but no prospects, no interests, and a dead end job as a cashier in a grocery store. Then he discovers an extraordinary coin that...
- June 30th, 2010, 10:04 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: BOB - NOT the official title:) - YA dystopian *Take #3*
- Replies: 32
- Views: 11257
Re: BOB - NOT the official title:) - YA dystopian
Hello, all. I've just started drafting the query for my latest WIP and would appreciate your thoughts. First, a quick question: Can the word dystopian function as a noun? That is, can I refer to my manuscript as a YA dystopian, or should I call it a YA dystopian novel? fwiw, Apple's Dictionary stat...
- June 29th, 2010, 8:15 pm
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Do you need a Critique Partner?
- Replies: 21
- Views: 11577
Re: Do you need a Critique Partner?
::EDITED:: I found one. And, yes, a good, compatible CP is worth their weight in gold. My CP's insights into what worked and wasn't working in my WIP (along with suggestion on what to improve) have been better than I had ever imagined. It took me a long time to find the right person. I know it can ...
- June 27th, 2010, 8:47 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Evolution of Janie YA query
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2962
Re: The Evolution of Janie YA query
People only hurt you. It’s an adage Janie Carter holds onto since first her father and then her mother deserted her. It would be stronger to have this directly attributable to Janie, as in "Janie Carter's motto is 'People only hurt you.' Otherwise, as you have it written here, you tell us that...
- June 26th, 2010, 1:13 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: New Query for RONNIE FOR REAL
- Replies: 37
- Views: 13690
Re: Query for RONNIE IN HIGH SCHOOL
Freshman year = age 15. Senior year = 18. Even though there is only 3 years between them, there's a world of difference between a Freshman and a Senior. The most obvious difference: a Freshman is looking at starting high school, while a senior is worried about getting into college or having to find ...
- June 26th, 2010, 1:07 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: What's appropriate?
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2209
Re: What's appropriate?
You only identify her as your "editor." Is she a friend? A paid editor you hired? A critique partner? An editor at a publishing house? It makes a difference: if it's an editor with a publishing house, by all means, mention her. If it's someone you hired or a friend/critique partner, don't....
- June 26th, 2010, 12:17 am
- Forum: Procrastination
- Topic: Forum game: Random facts about you
- Replies: 123
- Views: 58620
Re: Forum game: Random facts about you
my wife once used the fastest-ever rejection envelope as a dustpan to sweep up the dirt on the kitchen floor.
doesn't get much lower than that, i'm afraid.
...
doesn't get much lower than that, i'm afraid.
...
- June 25th, 2010, 11:10 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Confessions of an Elder - Fantasy *updated*
- Replies: 22
- Views: 7750
Re: Confessions of an Elder - Fantasy
Hello, all. My earlier versions, which weren't evaluated here, might have been too vague... Dear <Agent Name>, The sacred Vine, the wellspring of power that binds all life, can tempt the unvigilant man to destruction. No one knows this better than Elder Cale Barnside. This first sentence, your &quo...
- June 25th, 2010, 11:09 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Confessions of an Elder - Fantasy *updated*
- Replies: 22
- Views: 7750
Re: Confessions of an Elder - Fantasy
Hello, all. My earlier versions, which weren't evaluated here, might have been too vague... Dear <Agent Name>, The sacred Vine, the wellspring of power that binds all life, can tempt the unvigilant man to destruction. No one knows this better than Elder Cale Barnside. This first sentence, your &quo...
- June 25th, 2010, 2:40 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Red Room - Query letter
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2895
Re: The Red Room - Query letter
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful advice and for taking the time. I will need to think about it for a while. This part of the process is agonising. I hope I'm not just overthinking it. Of course I can see all your points right there, and they all make so much sense, but I'm a jumbled mess w...
- June 23rd, 2010, 10:16 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Red Room - Query letter
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2895
Re: The Red Room - Query letter
I'm just learning the art of query-writing, and would really appreciate some feedback on my own if possible. It is basically a chick-lit novel and difficult to write a plot that is based mainly in emotion and not actions, True, but your query shows there is a considerable amount of action. Your sto...