Nathan Bransford - The Forums

sos! i have two versions that i can't decide between and they're both too long but i can't figure out what to cut out QUERY 1 Seventeen-year-old Sophia Altus has the power to control one of the seven Elements, but she has no control over her own destiny. The irony would’ve made her laugh if she wasn...

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong - really good, especially relevant right now

Hello, First things first, I think this is a great query. You set up the setting and plot really nicely. However, there are a couple things you should think about. First: rhythm. You want to start off your query with as much of a punch as possible - meaning succinct sentences. Personally, I’d do som...

Hello, First things first, I think this is a great query. You set up the setting and plot really nicely. However, there are a couple things you should think about. First: rhythm. You want to start off your query with as much of a punch as possible - meaning succinct sentences. Personally, I’d do som...

Hi, I agree with the previous commenter - you really want to emphasize/drive home on the stakes of your novel. Why should we care? What is the “so what”? The stakes is what entices us to read on. Additionally, try your best to lead with the name of your MC. It’s more “punchy” and more likely to grab...