Search found 44 matches

by khanes
October 9th, 2010, 8:35 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Novel Idea feedback
Replies: 5
Views: 1733

Re: Novel Idea feedback

Polymath, thank you so much for the observations. I think I need to amp up the conflict in the story, or you're right, there's not enough going on for a novel-sized work. I'm realizing after my first book that its good to give the second lots of plot - along the lines of conflict and characters befo...
by khanes
October 9th, 2010, 2:53 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Novel Idea feedback
Replies: 5
Views: 1733

Novel Idea feedback

So, I wrote a quick blurb of a novel I'm considering writing. The problem? I keep waffling back and forth on my idea. At one point, I love it, then I hate it, then I wonder if I need to raise the stakes, then I wonder if I should write from both female and male viewpoints (which I've never done. My ...
by khanes
October 9th, 2010, 2:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Amor for Love - Women's Fiction
Replies: 9
Views: 2335

Re: Query - Amor for Love - Women's Fiction

Hi Julie! I just wanted to say hello because my book sounds a bit like yours, haha. Mine is about a broadcast journalist who runs away to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, where a horse trainer/Juilliard trained singer helps her come to terms with her past and learn to love. I also lived in Central Mex...
by khanes
October 9th, 2010, 2:08 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Nanowrimo
Replies: 88
Views: 20664

Re: Nanowrimo

This may be a silly question. I'm thinking of doing NaNoWrMo, but I'm not sure if I want to wait another three weeks to start on my book. Is this challenge for starting a book at the beginning, or is the challenge to get 50,000 words? If the latter, I could start on it now and then churn the heck ou...
by khanes
September 24th, 2010, 11:28 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Gravity of San Miguel - Query - Sept. 23rd
Replies: 21
Views: 3612

Re: The Gravity of San Miguel - Query - Sept. 23rd

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and feedback!! I'm going to get cracking on yet another version :)
by khanes
September 23rd, 2010, 5:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Gravity of San Miguel - Query - Sept. 23rd
Replies: 21
Views: 3612

Re: The Gravity of San Miguel - Query - Sept. 23rd

Thanks so much for your help SGF! I do need to work more on the actual conflict in the book - which is a lingering ex-boyfriend, a prejudiced mother, and Isabelle's own issues with Arturo (ie, his job, his ex-wife, his not pursing his dreams of singing). Ack its so hard combining a book full of prob...
by khanes
September 23rd, 2010, 4:42 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Coming YA
Replies: 7
Views: 1933

Re: The Coming YA

Hi Shadow. Nice scene! It has a good pace, good description, and makes me want to read more. It's always good to have the reader wondering what will happen next. I will correct some more grammar below using red (my best try at correcting grammar), plus my opinions on some of the sentences. ---------...
by khanes
September 23rd, 2010, 4:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for a Fantasy novel 3rd Draft!!
Replies: 17
Views: 2179

Re: Query for a Fantasy novel.

Hi Debra. Queries are so difficult, so good first try. I'm no expert on queries, mine also has gone through tons of revisions and still needs work. I do have some comments, though. First of all, this query left me with more questions than answers. Why does Emma land in the arms of a vampire? Why doe...
by khanes
September 23rd, 2010, 3:51 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Fantasy novel 1st page
Replies: 12
Views: 3904

Re: Fantasy novel 1st page

I noticed that some other posters commented on your descriptions, but I really liked them! I love reading books that describe things in a way I wouldn't normally think of. I thought that gave your writing strength and originality. I'll go through and give you my comments within your first page. Over...
by khanes
September 23rd, 2010, 3:42 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 250 words
Replies: 9
Views: 2101

Re: First 250 words

Hi Amanda! I think the plot of your story sounds enticing, but I have some suggestions for the first 250 words. First of all, I would strike your first sentence and really delve right into the action. Let us get to know the main character and what he is thinking and feeling as they walk down this mo...
by khanes
September 23rd, 2010, 3:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Gravity of San Miguel - Query - Sept. 23rd
Replies: 21
Views: 3612

Re: The Gravity of San Miguel - Query - Sept. 23rd

Here is my updated version - September 23rd!! (beginning, tailored to each agent, includes title and word count, which is 80,000) It seems like news reporter Isabelle Martin has it all. A job at a top radio station in Seattle. A handsome, well-off boyfriend who wants to get married. But something’s...
by khanes
July 16th, 2010, 2:22 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Don't Come to the House Tonight
Replies: 10
Views: 1885

Re: Don't Come to the House Tonight

I just wanted to say that I really like your writing. It's snappy, fun, clever and kept me interested and engaged. I totally skipped the prologue though. I don't usually like prologues because I'm so eager to get into the meat of the story. When books have prologues, it takes all I have to make myse...
by khanes
July 16th, 2010, 12:53 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Whom do you write like?
Replies: 53
Views: 9757

Re: Whom do you write like?

This is hilarious!! One of my WIP's came out like Stephen King, the other like David Foster Wallace. I think my first one came out like King because it had several expletives. hahahaha.
by khanes
July 12th, 2010, 2:28 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Genre Help
Replies: 15
Views: 2656

Re: Genre Help

I was also confused about the difference between women's fiction and romance. My book is a love story based in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, which is written in the first person and chronicles one woman's journey to opening her heart to a man she never thought she could love. It's really more about...
by khanes
June 30th, 2010, 4:22 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: MAN OF THE HOUSE - 1st Ch.- Critiques Anyone?
Replies: 10
Views: 2024

Re: MAN OF THE HOUSE - 1st Ch.- Critiques Anyone?

This is such a dark, disturbing, well-written passage. I disagree with the previous poster and really like the adjectives. I felt like I was there with this boy, in a war-torn country, on the banks of a dirty river filled with bodies. I thought your descriptions helped put me there. Good job!