Search found 7 matches

by katemargaret
May 20th, 2023, 5:09 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Fantasy
Replies: 4
Views: 4053

Re: Query: YA Fantasy

1. Too many names. Decide who is your central character. It can be a place also. It can be Everly or it can be Empyriam or the Ternion. For eg. Empyriam was a land of magic but its source was destroyed. Oblivious Everly is the key to unsheathing this lost power. Trapped in an unknown world, where E...
by katemargaret
February 17th, 2023, 4:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Fantasy
Replies: 4
Views: 4053

Query: YA Fantasy

Hello writers, I'm looking for some feedback on the synopsis portion of my query letter. The book is YA Fantasy, loads of twists and turns, and I've had some trouble narrowing down the important points. I'd love to hear your thoughts, thanks for reading! Everly Peris was just an average sixteen yea...
by katemargaret
November 28th, 2021, 1:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Fantasy
Replies: 3
Views: 10781

Re: Query: YA Fantasy

Much better! You now gives us more of the atmosphere of your novel, what makes it unique. Some of the magic system, the villain's ambitions, the protagonists' gifts and vulnerabilities. I like to think of agents and other professionals as readers avid to be entertained and surprised rather than ste...
by katemargaret
November 21st, 2021, 2:47 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query critique 11/18/21
Replies: 2
Views: 2524

Re: Query critique 11/18/21

Thank you for your feedback! It is definitely way too vague - I did a rewrite and posted in Queries. If you'd like to take another look and let me know what you think I'd greatly appreciate it. Hopefully it's improved! Interesting. But somewhat general. More specific detail would help. Like introduc...
by katemargaret
November 21st, 2021, 1:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Fantasy
Replies: 3
Views: 10781

Query: YA Fantasy

Dear [AGENT], I hope my first novel will appeal to your love of “girls who kick ass” with its representation of strong-minded female characters and a protagonist who finds the courage to fight when the odds are stacked against her. It was a miracle of magick that brought Everly Peris to Empyriam, a ...
by katemargaret
October 20th, 2021, 5:07 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Fantasy
Replies: 1
Views: 4641

Re: Query: YA Fantasy

Hi! I'm working on my query as well, it's so hard to get everything in without being too detailed in the story line! I really like the opening of Query 2, it shows off Sophia's strength and gives us her mission/conflict. I think some things could be more concise, there's a lot of description that is...
by katemargaret
October 14th, 2021, 6:05 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 152
Views: 124629

Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear [AGENT], Smart and sensible Everly Peris couldn’t fathom a world where magick exists, but when a twist of fate brings her to the realm of Empyriam, everything she knows about her life is turned upside down. After meeting Noa Berrie, a budding scholar, she discovers her own connection to this wo...