Search found 3 matches

by ElizaJane
October 1st, 2010, 11:43 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10
Replies: 32
Views: 28214

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10

I liked this, liked the whole premise. It's a neat twist on the usual set-up for Gothic fiction, where the heroine is the one who has been left the house. It intrigued me to hear the situation described from the point of view of the person who did the leaving. Definitely made me want to read further...
by ElizaJane
September 10th, 2010, 8:52 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10
Replies: 33
Views: 29460

Re: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10

The first paragraph and the third (from BANG) have too many descriptors that sound familiar and therefore fall flat. The description feels somehow perfunctory, unexciting. Even though there's a lot of detail, it doesn't seem unusual enough to engage us. The paragraph in between succeeds better in ev...
by ElizaJane
June 9th, 2010, 7:49 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 284648

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: Operation Cassandra Genre: tween/YA time travel Chapter 1: Wrong Face (250 words) Waking up that morning was the hardest thing Cass had ever done, like clawing out from beneath a mudslide. She was suffocating in the clotted thickness of sleep. She was drowning in a torrent of icy water. She w...