Search found 16 matches

by brownwr
June 21st, 2021, 9:01 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Speculative Fiction
Replies: 1
Views: 104

Re: Query: YA Speculative Fiction

Hello informalhospital, Your story sounds fun. You may want to lead with your protagonist(s) names in the first paragraph. Does the pretty boy have a power or is he Non-Active civilian? I think you are good at explaining the Activation. I am confused by the university. Is the university good, bad, o...
by brownwr
May 27th, 2021, 2:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Take 7: Dear Agent, I would like to submit my novel, Kolin and Kaira Grey and the Misty Moors Academy, for your consideration. A work of Middle-grade fiction complete at 78,000 words and available at your request. When 12-year-old twins Kolin and Kaira Grey find themselves hurled into a world, their...
by brownwr
May 27th, 2021, 2:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Hello,
I think my last queries needed some work. I got some quick canned replies. Please review this one. It hard to believe queries are so hard to get right.
Thanks in advance!
by brownwr
May 18th, 2021, 7:49 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

I am going to send this one out and see what happens.
by brownwr
May 18th, 2021, 7:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Take 6: Dear Agent, I'm currently seeking representation for my Middle-grade fiction novel Kolin and Kaira Grey and the Misty Moors Academy. A work of Middle-grade fiction complete at 78,000 words and available at your request. Kolin Grey and his twin sister Kaira find themselves hurled into a world...
by brownwr
May 7th, 2021, 5:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Take Five: I'm currently seeking representation for my Middle-grade fiction novel Kolin Grey and the Misty Moors Academy. A work of Middle-grade fiction complete at 78,000 words and available at your request. Kolin Grey and his twin sister Kaira find themselves hurled into a world their parents left...
by brownwr
May 7th, 2021, 8:03 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Hello Zarate1138,
Take four was based off jjones post. I will review your link and add Take 5. You did not come across to harsh.
Thank You for the feed back!
by brownwr
May 6th, 2021, 8:51 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Take Four: I'm currently seeking representation for my Middle-grade fiction novel Kolin Grey and the Misty Moors Academy. A work of Middle-grade fiction complete at 78,000 words and available at your request. Kolin Grey and his twin sister Kaira find themselves hurled into a world their parents left...
by brownwr
May 6th, 2021, 8:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Thank you jjones!
I made the changes and it makes more since. That is why I need a second set of eyes because the tools I use will let it pass sometimes and I glaze right over it.
Thanks Again!
by brownwr
April 28th, 2021, 11:52 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Take Three Added genre and word count to the top, add when and where the novel was set and added more comps. I'm currently seeking representation for my Middle-grade fiction novel Kolin Grey and the Misty Moors Academy. The work is complete at 78,000 words and available at your request. Kolin Grey a...
by brownwr
April 27th, 2021, 8:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Thank you so much nlshippen! It is great to see the words compelling and engaging. I will work on take 3.
Thanks Again!
by brownwr
April 1st, 2021, 11:03 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

I used this to answer some questions. It is every helpful.
https://nathanbransford.com/blog/2020/1 ... y-critique
by brownwr
April 1st, 2021, 10:56 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Take Two Kolin Grey and his twin sister Kaira find themselves hurled into a world their parents left behind. Magic is dangerous in the wrong hands and all their parents wanted was to keep them safe. When their parent's former Professor enters their store, turning their world upside down by telling t...
by brownwr
March 30th, 2021, 3:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy
Replies: 16
Views: 1269

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Please, rip this query to shreds because I want it to be good.
by brownwr
March 30th, 2021, 10:14 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 61
Views: 50299

Re: NEW - Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog

Dear Agent, According to your agency's website, you are actively seeking middle-grade fiction, so I'm pleased to introduce my novel, Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy. Kolin Grey and his twin sister Kaira find themselves hurled into a world their parents left behind. When a former Professor ent...