Search found 85 matches

by Meredith
June 5th, 2011, 12:55 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query-YA paranormal thriller NEWEST ATTEMPT IN POST #16
Replies: 18
Views: 2244

Re: Query-YA paranormal thriller NEWEST ATTEMPT IN POST #6

NEWEST VERSION Thanks again for all the fabulous feedback. I've decided to change tack here a bit and try a pared down version of the query. There are a lot of moving pieces in my novel and I'm fighting to urge to include it all. Again, any comments on whether this slimmer version is stronger or no...
by Meredith
June 1st, 2011, 3:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 1547

Re: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)

Or this one (different approach): Rell doesn't want magic. He doesn't dream of being a hero out of old legends or a mage. Certainly not a mage. What he'd like is just not to be in his big brother's shadow for a change. Someone should have reminded him to be careful what he wished for. Magic isn't ev...
by Meredith
May 31st, 2011, 8:04 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 1547

Re: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)

Newest version: To Rell, it's a good thing that magic died at the end of the Great Mage War. The remnants, like the violent, semi-sentient mage storms, made up of the ashes of dead wizards, are enough proof of that. His father may remember a time when magic was useful, but all Rell can see is the B...
by Meredith
April 30th, 2011, 4:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 1547

Re: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)

Latest version: Rell isn't sorry that magic died at the end of the Great Mage War. All that remains are the violent, semi-sentient mage storms like the one that killed his grandfather. His father may think that the world is poorer without magic, but Rell knows his family would be better off if their...
by Meredith
April 30th, 2011, 11:44 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query / synopsis :: MASQUERADE
Replies: 9
Views: 1485

Re: Query / synopsis :: MASQUERADE

Unfortunately, what you have here is neither a synopsis, nor a query. There's not enough detail or emotion for a synopsis. A synopsis, ideally, should be something like when you try to tell the plot of a movie you really liked to a friend. Full of the conflict and emotion. Telling a good story, pepp...
by Meredith
April 27th, 2011, 1:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 1547

Re: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)

Hmm. Even in the full novel I never explicitly state Rell's age. Just things like feeling old enough to help the men during the mage storm rather than be hustled off to safety with the children and the fact that his voice has finally settled and isn't cracking any more. The main conflict really is R...
by Meredith
April 26th, 2011, 11:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: ERHISTAUT (YA fantasy)
Replies: 7
Views: 1198

Re: Query: ERHISTAUT (YA fantasy)

Hello everyone, I'm new here :) It would be lovely if people could offer some comments/suggestions on a query I am in the process of perfecting. Thank you so much, in advance! Attn. Mr./ Mrs.: ERHISTAUT is a 96,000-word fantasy novel for young adults. There are no iron-clad rules, but I would put t...
by Meredith
April 26th, 2011, 3:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: REDDO, YA Urban Fantasy LAST POST
Replies: 20
Views: 2916

Re: REDDO: New format for YA Urban Fantasy

Thanks SariBelle! That last paragraph is causing me lots of trouble, so I redid it here. Newest Draft! Eighteen-year-old Sophie Rowan always hoped she had a true love. She just never expected to meet someone who could tell her straight-out if she had one. When Sophie finds Hugh Kedoa, the new boy a...
by Meredith
April 26th, 2011, 1:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 1547

Re: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)

Thanks so much. Newer version: Rell isn't sorry that magic died at the end of the Great Mage War. All that remains are the violent, semi-sentient mage storms like the one that killed his grandfather. His father may think that the world is poorer without magic, but Rell knows his family would be bett...
by Meredith
April 26th, 2011, 12:59 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 1547

Totally New Query for MAGE STORM (MG Fantasy)

The first query didn't do its job well enough. Here's a different take: Rell isn't sorry that magic died at the end of the Great Mage War. The only remnants that remain are the violent, semi-sentient mage storms like the one that killed his grandfather. Those storms and the blackened stumps of the B...
by Meredith
April 26th, 2011, 12:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Treasure
Replies: 2
Views: 677

Re: Treasure

Critique please. Dear , When young Sam runs away from home, he never imagined the perils he faced at the hands of his Aunt and Uncle on the rough streets of 1840’s London would be eclipsed by the journey his life was about to take him on. Survival had its price and he lost all his friends Years lat...
by Meredith
April 26th, 2011, 12:46 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Court of Last Chances - YA fantasy
Replies: 3
Views: 625

Re: The Court of Last Chances - YA fantasy

Hey guys, so I haven't been around for a while, mostly because I've been flat-chat with work, uni and writing (yes I know, woe is me). I've put my previous query aside for the moment because even though the story is ready to go, I just can't get that damn thing sorted. So here is a new one. I don't...
by Meredith
April 25th, 2011, 3:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Blood Legacy - YA Query REVISED x1
Replies: 6
Views: 992

Re: Blood Legacy - YA Query REVISED x1

Dear [Agent], I am a regular reader of your blog and I believe my 84,000 word YA fantasy, BLOOD LEGACY, would be a good fit for your agency [because of reasons inserted here]. Dani Strider is the only one who knows her mother’s death wasn’t natural. Murdered by a shadow, but nobody would believe th...
by Meredith
January 14th, 2011, 6:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: MAGE STORM Middle Grade Fantasy--Revised
Replies: 7
Views: 1418

Re: QUERY: MAGE STORM Middle Grade Fantasy--Revised

The latest version: The only traces of magic left in Rell's world are the violent, semi-sentient mage storms made up of the ashes of the magic-wielders killed in the great war. At least that's what Rell believes until a mage storm infects him with magic he can’t control. The magic ebbs and flows wit...
by Meredith
January 8th, 2011, 4:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: NEVER REMEMBER: YA Fantasy Revised
Replies: 15
Views: 2114

Re: NEVER REMEMBER: YA Fantasy

Thanks everyone for the advice! Hopefully you see some improvement here. To me this one seems a little shaky, but since I have all the answers it's a little hard to tell. Devi Ashara can only remember the last few years of her life. During her journey to find her memories she travels to Arkin where...