Way tighter and better than the earlier versions. It doesn't even sound like the same project. I immediately understood it was sci-fi/fantasy.
Congratulations!
Capaloha---
Search found 5 matches
- June 9th, 2010, 3:55 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Empty Query (Take 2)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4411
- June 9th, 2010, 3:28 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for On The Fringe
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3074
Re: Query for On The Fringe
Aloha, There is a market for college graduates with dreams that exceed their reach. Jason Ryan Dorsey has made a career out of writing self-help books for this crowd. I agree with the chick-lit recommendation, or the "fun summer beach read" if that is a category. Back to your query - there...
- June 9th, 2010, 3:18 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for Thriller - Fresh Meat, Notes to Commenters
- Replies: 28
- Views: 10229
Re: Query for Thriller - Fresh Meat, Notes to Commenters
Hey there....how did the query work for you? Do you need more feedback, or are you set?
Capaloha---
Capaloha---
- June 9th, 2010, 3:15 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Bron To Die - Last Take
- Replies: 9
- Views: 4010
Re: Bron To Die - Last Take
Wow - wow - what an idea...ok, I'm intrigued, and hope to help you chase down words that detract from your strong story. Here goes...basically any words in bold are suggestions for deletion ....I was looking for multiple prepositional phrases to take out. Sometimes they weaken your central premise. ...
- June 9th, 2010, 3:01 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Bring Me Back, women's fiction--Updated 9/23
- Replies: 32
- Views: 10662
Re: Query: Bring Me Back, women's fiction--Updated
I love the ass over tea kettle line, and believe it speaks for itself as "madly in love". You could delete the reference to madly in love to tighten it up. As for nudging professional boundaries, I'd love an example. What if he mentions her in a TV interview, or better yet, writes a song a...