What a great start.
You introduced the charaters and setting well and I couldn't help but get drawn into the story.. Great work.
Keep it up.
Search found 11 matches
- November 25th, 2022, 2:59 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Opening for my mystery/thriller Novel: Cast.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2858
- June 2nd, 2022, 4:45 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Plotter or Pantser?
- Replies: 3
- Views: 4599
Re: Plotter or Pantser?
Definitely a Pantser. My story just sort of evolved. Sometimes the plot twisted in ways that even surprised me.
- May 22nd, 2022, 4:31 am
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Beta reader for a fantasy story (Demi-God)
- Replies: 1
- Views: 892
Re: Beta reader for a fantasy story (Demi-God)
Sounds like my kind of story. I will be happy to give it a go and will pm you my email address.
- June 2nd, 2021, 5:20 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: The Time Capsule Murders: A Cambridge Mystery
- Replies: 6
- Views: 7502
Re: The Time Capsule Murders: A Cambridge Mystery
This was off to a flying start. Witty and intersting. However by the time I got to the paragraph, "I was the youngest in the family (it would seem that the emergence of Timothy Dalton in 1987 was not enough of an incentive for my parents to indulge in any further procreation) and, mild eccentri...
- January 23rd, 2021, 6:19 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Can someone feedback on this
- Replies: 2
- Views: 4027
Re: Can someone feedback on this
Hi, The first question that comes to mind reading this is who is Charilie? He is mentioned a little later in the sentence, "Stepping in the backdoor ushered in with charlie a feeling of safety as she felt more exposed on the floodplane." , which in itself sounds a bit strange to me. I but ...
- January 23rd, 2021, 5:52 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 6247
Re: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
Thank you for your feedback and taking the time to read it. I am not sure what you mean by the opening sentence requireing an object, but you have given me something to think about.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Re: Inside The Eyes of Providence Chapter One (not sure of correct genre listing for this) Critiques welcome
Okay I admit this isn't really my cup of tea, but I tried to read it.
However I got lost with the sudden change from the sniper rifle firing to fishing. I could not make the connection between the two events. It is like reading one book and suddenly switching to another without any reason to.
However I got lost with the sudden change from the sniper rifle firing to fishing. I could not make the connection between the two events. It is like reading one book and suddenly switching to another without any reason to.
- November 18th, 2020, 3:31 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 6247
Re: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
Thank you for taking the time to read it and I am glad you enjoyed it . Your feedback is much appreciated and it has dissipated quite a few self doubts.
- November 7th, 2020, 5:45 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Thoughts on a male protagonist written by female
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14169
Re: Thoughts on a male protagonist written by female
I agree with the others. It doesn't matter what sex the person writing the character is, so long as they understand the character. If you are writing a character of your opposite sex, you need to ignore most of the generalizations about that sex as they will lead you astray and your character will e...
- November 7th, 2020, 5:20 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 6247
The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
Hi, As a first time writer, I have alot of doubts in my work. Could you please look over the begining of my fantasy novel, The Guilds End, and give me some feedback on what I have written and how to improve it.? Many thanks in advance. Chapter 1 Neros entered the large hall. On the floor, two large ...
- November 7th, 2020, 5:01 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: What made you start writing?
- Replies: 11
- Views: 11003
Re: What made you start writing?
For me it was that nearly every fantasy book I read had a hero born in some little out of the way village who grew up to defeat the evil overlord. I always wondered how the overlord got to that position of power and if the overlord was born evil, or did turn evil becuse of circiumstances during his ...