Search found 22 matches

by BrokenChain
June 22nd, 2010, 1:59 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Flash Fiction: THE STRAIN
Replies: 5
Views: 1099

Re: Flash Fiction: THE STRAIN

Thanks for the advice! I'll comment on that later, but for now, here's some clarification: The story never changes character. The guy in the beginning is the same guy in the end. Undead is a term used in zombie and vampire lit. It means something along the lines of "animated dead". Rest assured the ...
by BrokenChain
June 21st, 2010, 2:09 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Flash Fiction: THE STRAIN
Replies: 5
Views: 1099

Flash Fiction: THE STRAIN

EDIT: Currently rewriting this story...
by BrokenChain
June 8th, 2010, 5:51 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: how do you write action?
Replies: 10
Views: 1579

Re: how do you write action?

First, I absolutely stay away from the idea that the scene should run like a movie in my head. Tension and conflict don't translate well in purely visual elements, since neither of these is inherent in situation. This is, IMO, the downfall of most action (and sex) scenes. Funny, I do go for the mov...
by BrokenChain
June 8th, 2010, 2:02 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Bestsellers that don't live up to the hype
Replies: 29
Views: 5580

Re: Bestsellers that don't live up to the hype

Brisingr sucked. Bad.
by BrokenChain
June 7th, 2010, 6:46 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Full Micro-Fiction Piece
Replies: 6
Views: 1180

Re: Full Micro-Fiction Piece

Thanks Serzen!

Already applied the changes. I'll update the original post with the edits.
by BrokenChain
June 7th, 2010, 5:55 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Full Micro-Fiction Piece
Replies: 6
Views: 1180

Re: Full Micro-Fiction Piece

Poor Jerry. He really got the bad end of the stick, didn't he? I mean, try to help a multiple personality out and that's the thanks you get? :) Wow. I like the voice. Totally gives me that detached nonchalant feeling associated with a sociopath. You show how much power and voice can be created with...
by BrokenChain
June 7th, 2010, 5:35 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: how do you write action?
Replies: 10
Views: 1579

Re: how do you write action?

Writing action is actually what I started writing for ten years ago. I'm mostly self educated because NO ONE seems to know how to write actions scenes...and the strange few who do never write anything on the subject. Using the barest of bare language is an absolute must, in my humble opinion. And by...
by BrokenChain
June 7th, 2010, 3:58 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Full Micro-Fiction Piece
Replies: 6
Views: 1180

Full Micro-Fiction Piece

SOrry guys--I've sent it out to be published (hopefully), so I had to remove it from here. Thanks for the feedback and help, I'll be sure to comment more on other posts and post more of my own stuff here in the near future!
by BrokenChain
June 7th, 2010, 3:52 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Page YA: opinions on voice and technique appreciated
Replies: 30
Views: 5768

Re: First Page YA: opinions on voice and technique appreciated

Awesome! One of the better written things I've seen on here. I don't normally read YA (if that's what it is) but this totally has my attention.
by BrokenChain
June 7th, 2010, 3:40 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1
Replies: 17
Views: 3434

Re: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1

Cool starting, would love to find out what's next, but oh so wordy! I think the guys here have dissected it well. There are many awkward sentences and words that are screaming to be cut out. Not to mention the passive voice which could be easily changed. Examples, some of them already mentioned: "Em...
by BrokenChain
June 4th, 2010, 4:55 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?
Replies: 52
Views: 8787

Re: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?

Steppe. '...if your using this that or the other style crutch to many times in to short a span.' should presumably read '...if you're using this, that, or the other style crutch too many times in too short a span.'? And by 'as' and 'but' fetishes you really mean 'ass' and butt' fetishes? Oh, maybe ...
by BrokenChain
June 4th, 2010, 1:50 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?
Replies: 52
Views: 8787

Re: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?

For me, there are two basic "rules" that I use to assess the strength of writing at the sentence level: 1. The sentence or phrase should read smoothly and clearly. When you read the sentence, do you stumble over the syntax or become confused about what the subject is? For example, the reason that s...
by BrokenChain
June 2nd, 2010, 9:26 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?
Replies: 52
Views: 8787

Re: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?

I also align more with the writing-as-craft than writing-as-art camp, which I suspect will be spectacularly unsurprising to quite a few people. I know what you mean. The problem is I've spent so much time thinking about art in it's older use that writing as craft and art mean exactly the same thing...
by BrokenChain
June 2nd, 2010, 7:14 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?
Replies: 52
Views: 8787

Re: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?

Yet it DOES work, as BrokenChain pointed out. Yeeeah. Matter of opinion, I guess. I didn't like it even when Herbert did it. I hate to say it, but I associate changing POV's within scenes with poorly written romance. It has to do with disrupting the guided meditative state. You're with the new age ...
by BrokenChain
June 2nd, 2010, 11:38 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?
Replies: 52
Views: 8787

Re: The rules of "stronger" writing... lol?

Anyone else noticed POV issues after a pass? My critique partner pointed them out to me... there weren't that many, but I was surprised I COMPLETELY missed them! lol I know. It's hard because as the authors we know everything but our pov characters don't! Can you give an example? Myself I'm experim...