Search found 505 matches

by J. T. SHEA
September 5th, 2022, 9:40 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query critique 9/8/22
Replies: 1
Views: 100

Re: Query critique 9/8/22

This is one of my favorites of the queries I've read here on the Forums. I might just rephrase two sentences as follows:- “Now the monsters are everywhere, destroying the Holy Temple and leaving peaceful citizens with no choice but to wear heaps of amulets around their necks to TRY TO keep the evil ...
by J. T. SHEA
December 2nd, 2021, 12:38 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page critique 12/2/21
Replies: 1
Views: 720

Re: Page critique 12/2/21

Interesting. Just a couple of thoughts occur to me:- I note this first page is a single long paragraph. But that may be a formatting glitch. One sentence contains a grammatical error I've noticed several times recently, even in pieces by experienced journalists:- “Chewing his bottom lip and thumping...
by J. T. SHEA
November 22nd, 2021, 9:53 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: YA Fantasy
Replies: 4
Views: 1376

Re: Query: YA Fantasy

Much better! You now gives us more of the atmosphere of your novel, what makes it unique. Some of the magic system, the villain's ambitions, the protagonists' gifts and vulnerabilities. I like to think of agents and other professionals as readers avid to be entertained and surprised rather than ster...
by J. T. SHEA
November 16th, 2021, 12:25 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query critique 11/18/21
Replies: 2
Views: 789

Re: Query critique 11/18/21

Interesting. But somewhat general. More specific detail would help. Like introducing the Bad Guy(s) or Gals, if there are any. What makes this different from other YA fantasies?
by J. T. SHEA
November 1st, 2021, 5:25 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: What's Up with Form Rejection?
Replies: 12
Views: 6665

Re: What's Up with Form Rejection?

An old but evergreen thread. To mix a couple of metaphors, while the devil can indeed be in the details, one can fail to see the wood for the trees, and indeed see only one tree, or just a small part of it. That's where “blurbs” and suchlike come in. What's the overall story? How would I describe it...
by J. T. SHEA
September 29th, 2021, 11:45 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page critique 9/30/21
Replies: 1
Views: 691

Re: Page critique 9/30/21

My first reaction is that this first page introduces us to several characters, living and dead, by means of several info dumps and “As you know Bobs”. Both are widely considered taboo. My contrarian streak urges me to see the value of such transgressions, and both can indeed save time and space, par...
by J. T. SHEA
September 6th, 2021, 12:59 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query critique 9/9/21
Replies: 1
Views: 1665

Re: Query critique 9/9/21

An intriguing query! Only one small caveat occurs to me offhand. While I have no problem with high profile comparisons, I would not describe my work as a retelling of someone else's, however loose. Something along the lines of “I believe fans of the Iron Man or Iron Giant will enjoy Cable,” might be...
by J. T. SHEA
August 26th, 2021, 1:46 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query critique 8/26/21
Replies: 1
Views: 1623

Re: Query critique 8/26/21

Interesting! I just have a few thoughts:- Dear [Agent], I am seeking representation for my paranormal mystery novel, THIEF OF BREAN. The book is complete at 75000 words and is first in a planned duology. A serial murder case with no witness or evidence is Detective Carleton Lavely’s last shot at kee...
by J. T. SHEA
July 27th, 2021, 1:01 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: agent seeks author investment
Replies: 2
Views: 2738

Re: agent seeks author investment

Greetings, kindred spirit indeed! I did a little googling and have a few thoughts. Conrad Press is not an agency, though its principal James Essinger (a prolific author) briefly ran Canterbury Literary Agency, which sold few books, according to him, and is now defunct as far I can tell. As is often ...
by J. T. SHEA
July 24th, 2021, 12:51 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: e.g., CP ask: "Fix My Phrase"...pls pick your favorite version: 1a? 1b? 1c? 1d? 1e? 1f? 1g?..........genres=OpEd,etc
Replies: 0
Views: 1947

Re: e.g., CP ask: "Fix My Phrase"...pls pick your favorite version: 1a? 1b? 1c? 1d? 1e? 1f? 1g?..........genres=OpEd,etc

While interesting, your post seems off-topic both for the Critique Partner section and probably for this writing website in general. I'll leave it here but I suggest you post any follow-ups in the “Procrastination” section or, if you intend to publish it elsewhere and really want feedback, in the “E...
by J. T. SHEA
May 13th, 2021, 12:07 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Where is Administration forums.nathanbransford.com ??
Replies: 1
Views: 1668

Re: Where is Administration forums.nathanbransford.com ??

Nathan is the administrator. I am the moderator. You can PM either of us.
by J. T. SHEA
April 1st, 2021, 3:30 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Where is Administration forums.nathanbransford.com?
Replies: 1
Views: 1566

Re: Where is Administration forums.nathanbransford.com?

I moderate the Forums for Nathan. You can use the Private Messages system (see top right of screen) to contact either of us.
by J. T. SHEA
November 13th, 2020, 1:45 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)
Replies: 6
Views: 3934

Re: The start of The Guilds End (936 words)

I like this. A good start with situation and characters introduced well. I would read on. No improvements or corrections occur to me offhand.
by J. T. SHEA
June 10th, 2020, 8:31 am
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 639
Views: 346287

Re: The Introduction Thread

Yes indeed! Mostly writers posting pages or queries for critiques at the moment. Nathan's blog is well worth checking out too.
by J. T. SHEA
March 5th, 2020, 12:38 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Query critique 3/5/20
Replies: 2
Views: 5119

Re: Query critique 3/5/20

July 11th!? I've lost four months!? Must be time travel...Or too many Monster drinks...