Search found 482 matches

by J. T. SHEA
November 3rd, 2018, 12:35 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Would it be fine for you to give me some critiques? Thank you!
Replies: 1
Views: 226

Re: Would it be fine for you to give me some critiques? Thank you!

This is a short, sharp and interesting piece that I liked. I did not find the dialogue and plot cheesy. Mysterious yes, but intriguing. Are the bracketed words and phrases part of the text or notes to yourself? The piece is present tense but you do lapse into past tense a few times, as in:- “A sudde...
by J. T. SHEA
October 11th, 2018, 6:08 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: New Member Intro
Replies: 1
Views: 327

Re: New Member Intro

30 tabs open in the brain? I know the feeling, Becky! Plus pop-ups and error messages galore in my brain at times. And amen regarding thanks to Nathan! While these forums can be quiet at times there are always people online, no doubt exploring the 200,000 posts (!) by 3,500 members over 9 years so f...
by J. T. SHEA
June 27th, 2018, 9:51 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Hunted Chapter 1........ 1st 500 Words
Replies: 1
Views: 173

Re: Hunted Chapter 1........ 1st 500 Words

This is certainly intriguing and different! I quite like it. The protagonist's narration is distinctive and formal but not obscurely antique, and conveys character and setting very succinctly. I'm curious to hear other readers' comments.
by J. T. SHEA
June 26th, 2018, 10:02 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: When do I look for an Agent?
Replies: 1
Views: 2577

Re: When do I look for an Agent?

My understanding is that one does not query agents until the novel is complete. Only then do they (and you) know that you can tell the whole story.
by J. T. SHEA
May 26th, 2018, 9:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Briseis
Replies: 4
Views: 333

Re: Query Briseis

While you described the characters interestingly in the second query, the first query's concentration on just Briseis and Achilles may be more effective, telling us what you intend to emphasize in the Troy story. One addition I might make to the first query is to spell out that it is about the Troja...
by J. T. SHEA
May 25th, 2018, 10:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Briseis
Replies: 4
Views: 333

Re: Query Briseis

Interesting, Muse_Clio. I like this. You rightly concentrate on your take on the characters, given the basic story is so well-known. I see you've posted a different version in the 'Nominate your query for a critique on the blog' section. I'll leave that to Nathan except to say I actually prefer that...
by J. T. SHEA
May 12th, 2018, 5:05 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Writing a scene with both the protagonist and antagonist in the same area.
Replies: 2
Views: 2809

Re: Writing a scene with both the protagonist and antagonist in the same area.

Yes, but there are several different types of 3rd person POV. Take your first chapter for example. This is told from Rebecca's POV until her death. The POV is less specific after that but appears to be Mrs. Claus' POV since she notices things and gets an idea, both of which are her internal thoughts...
by J. T. SHEA
May 12th, 2018, 6:50 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis for "Walking in a Killer's wonderland"
Replies: 2
Views: 493

Re: Synopsis for "Walking in a Killer's wonderland"

Just a few thoughts occur to me at the moment, Brian. Capitalize the 'W' in 'Wonderland'. “Each crime scene is different from the last and there is always a gift box left for Atoms at almost every crime scene.” I would omit the word 'always' as it conflicts with the phrase 'almost every' and isn't n...
by J. T. SHEA
May 12th, 2018, 6:14 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Need Cirtique on some of my manuscript
Replies: 6
Views: 723

Re: Need Cirtique on some of my manuscript

A good question! Looking back through the 'EXCERPTS' section I could not find a similar example. Back at the start in 2010, Nathan's Guidelines suggested: “Also, if you revise your excerpt, please continue to post it in the original thread you started rather than starting an entirely new thread.” Th...
by J. T. SHEA
May 12th, 2018, 6:11 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Should I post a new thread for each chapter?
Replies: 3
Views: 1420

Re: Should I post a new thread for each chapter?

A good question! Looking back through the 'EXCERPTS' section I could not find a similar example. Back at the start in 2010, Nathan's Guidelines suggested: “Also, if you revise your excerpt, please continue to post it in the original thread you started rather than starting an entirely new thread.” Th...
by J. T. SHEA
May 12th, 2018, 5:52 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Writing a scene with both the protagonist and antagonist in the same area.
Replies: 2
Views: 2809

Re: Writing a scene with both the protagonist and antagonist in the same area.

Depends on the Point of View, I'd say. Are you telling the scene from the POV of one of the characters or both or a more general God-like POV?
by J. T. SHEA
May 11th, 2018, 4:06 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Need Cirtique on some of my manuscript
Replies: 6
Views: 723

Re: Need Cirtique on some of my manuscript

Interesting, Brian. Just a few thoughts:- I've bolded and italicised words I've added or moved, and struck-through those I think could be omitted. You don't say what it is Rebecca tries to fight out of. The Point of View change is unusual and might irritate some readers, but not me. I don't understa...
by J. T. SHEA
December 31st, 2017, 3:09 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: Happy New Year to all on the Bransforums!
Replies: 0
Views: 1054

Happy New Year to all on the Bransforums!

Happy New Year to all on the Bransforums! :)
by J. T. SHEA
November 17th, 2017, 4:15 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: I am a very old dog .....
Replies: 2
Views: 2391

Re: I am a very old dog .....

Nathan is right. Helen Hoover Santmyer's huge novel “...AND THE LADIES OF THE CLUB” was published when she was 87 and sold over 2 million copies in paperback alone. There is no real flavor of the moment, since each moment has many flavors, which will change before any novel begun now is published. B...
by J. T. SHEA
November 4th, 2017, 12:39 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Feedback needed on poem - 'Remember'
Replies: 1
Views: 1047

Re: Feedback needed on poem - 'Remember'

Hello and welcome, Marie Beth. I claim no particular expertise regarding poetry, but none is required to enjoy a poem, and I enjoyed yours, its images and rhythm and strong simple message. Modesty is fine, but I wouldn't apologize for your writing.