Search found 3 matches

by JJL
July 21st, 2020, 11:37 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First Chapter: Knightly (YA)
Replies: 2
Views: 2227

Re: First Chapter: Knightly (YA)

Nice descriptive, flowing, writing. Easy to read and it engages the reader.
by JJL
July 21st, 2020, 9:51 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The autobiography I'm working on. Please critique me.
Replies: 2
Views: 5639

Re: The autobiography I'm working on. Please critique me.

I agree with Nicholas that it comes across as a little rushed and crowded. One way of dealing with that might be to start with the layout of your prose - ie, creating spaces between the paragraphs to allow the words to "breathe" more. This in turn might prompt you to edit the paragraphs themselves i...
by JJL
July 20th, 2020, 2:38 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Inside The Eyes of Providence Chapter One (not sure of correct genre listing for this) Critiques welcome
Replies: 0
Views: 66

Inside The Eyes of Providence Chapter One (not sure of correct genre listing for this) Critiques welcome

Chapter One to cast a fly The shooter unpacked and carefully assembled the AXMC sniper rifle high up on his vantage point on top an empty building for sale, to the east of the parking lot. Ex Special Forces, he now ran his own security company for the elite. He offered high end protection work, exp...