Search found 6 matches

by mommalikabooty
August 22nd, 2010, 11:32 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 308350

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: The Suburban Spy Genre: Women's Thriller Hitting a bimbo with my car should have been the most exciting event of my day. Especially because that bimbo was the same one who’d pushed her cleavage in my husband’s face at the Sellner’s dinner party last week. Not that I hit her with my car becaus...
by mommalikabooty
June 9th, 2010, 9:27 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 308350

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title:The Suburban Spy Genre: chick lit/spy lit Hitting a bimbo with my car should have been the most exciting event of my day. Especially because that bimbo was the same one who’d pushed her cleavage in my husband’s face at the Stellner’s dinner party last week. Not that I hit her with my car becau...
by mommalikabooty
June 1st, 2010, 7:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hang A Shining Star- contemporary women's fiction
Replies: 17
Views: 3160

Re: Hang A Shining Star- contemporary women's fiction

I really like this query and, most importantly, I want to read this book! I think this last version is good, but I notice the frequent use of "want". She wants to escape, she wants to love them, she wants to have the little-girl feelings, she wants a chance, she wants to reclaim... you see what I me...
by mommalikabooty
June 1st, 2010, 7:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: query #2: The Suburban Spy, edited
Replies: 10
Views: 1836

Re: query #1: The Suburban Spy, first version

New to this forum, new to writing. I'd love some feedback on this query. I'll be submitting in the next couple of months. I especially don't know what to do about the bio section-- I have no work experience as a spy :) Dear specific agent, You think you know Liz Murdock, suburban mom of two, wife, a...
by mommalikabooty
May 19th, 2010, 7:05 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: query #2: The Suburban Spy, edited
Replies: 10
Views: 1836

Re: query: The Suburban Spy

Thank you for the feedback!
by mommalikabooty
May 18th, 2010, 6:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: query #2: The Suburban Spy, edited
Replies: 10
Views: 1836

query #2: The Suburban Spy, edited

This is the latest edit of my query. Thanks to everybody who helped with the last round. I posted the old query after the comments for the old query so you can see both the changes and where it jumps to new comments. Dear specific agent, Liz Murdock is happy with her life in suburbia, her two childr...