Nathan Bransford - The Forums

There are two points in this query that make me think, "but why/how?" I want to know a little about how she got her powers, and why she decided to surrender to the military. I feel like knowing those two things would give me a much better sense of the story and the main character, and help...

I feel a little thrown into the middle of the story. I think if you're going to jump right into the action, it needs to be more 'action-packed' to get us hooked. Otherwise some opening details that give us a sense of what type of story is to come would help us appropriately place the scene we're in....

Speculative Fiction

Speculative Fiction

Hi Don, Your novel sounds interesting! I'm immediately worried that I'm not high-brow enough for you, but maybe I should let you decide that. I'm currently trying to polish my 80k speculative fiction book before I query. I'd describe it as Jo March goes to space. Let me know if you'd like to exchang...

Your point of view is interesting because we all have thoughts like this, so we're able to connect with what you're saying. It reads a little rushed though. I think if you walked us through these thoughts more slowly, more smoothly, we would be able to follow along better.

Shibu, am I correct in assuming this is the beginning of the story? The first sentence is a strong statement, I think too strong. We don't get the chance to care about Sita before we learn that she commits suicide. If you started with describing her standing on the balcony, then include the paragrap...

I like the improvements you've made! But one quick note, I don't understand your use of the words 'redundant' and 'sensuous.' I'm an American, and to me the word 'sensuous' has very sexual connotations and 'redundant' means unnecessary or duplicate, which doesn't make sense in this context. If it's ...