Search found 14 matches

by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 10:47 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!

Thank you rainbowsheeps! Let me know what I can do for you! Though you need no help because you are awesome!
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 9:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!

REVISED...is this okay? Dear ____, Twenty-seven year old Julie Conrad is an assistant at a reputable literary agency in Los Angeles, California. She loves her job, but hates her boss who criticizes everything she does and orders her around like a maid. If she isn’t reading queries addressed to him, ...
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 9:23 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!

Quill, I am trying to find a way to make it snarky without using the exact words. Any info you can provide will be much appreciated. I will definitely take your comments into consideration when revising my query! Is there anything I can do for you? I am not well-versed in query writing, but if you l...
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 8:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!

Thank you to the people helping me, and one stands out the most. Rainbowsheeps, I wish I had a beta like you!!!!!
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 7:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: VALENTINE, New Revision & stuff
Replies: 33
Views: 5240

Re: Query: VALENTINE

What a great idea--very high concept! I think your query is quite good (much better than mine). I have one question, and it's probably quite stupid. Do the sister and his new love ever meet? Will the sister be the one who saves him after his love dies? I just want to know for myself. :P
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 5:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy Query, feedback please
Replies: 9
Views: 1614

Re: Fantasy Query, feedback please

I agree with the post above saying there are a lot of names provided in the query. I thought you only want to include 2-3 in a query (though I may be wrong). It does make it a bit confusing. However, I do understand what you are trying to convey. I think we both have the same sort of problem though ...
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 1:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Mallory's Story- Rip it apart. :D
Replies: 13
Views: 2186

Re: Query Mallory's Story- Rip it apart. :D

I actually love your hook though some may disagree with me about it. I am still trying to learn the query ropes, and most of my limited ability is based on looking at all of yours. I bet this will be great when you're done with it!
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 12:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy Query, feedback please
Replies: 9
Views: 1614

Re: Fantasy Query, feedback please

I am guessing this is YA but the voice doesn't sound YA. I'm not too good at this yet, but I do think you may want to insert more voice into your query. May be wrong though!
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 12:08 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!!

REVISED QUERY! What do you think? Dear ____, Twenty-seven year old Julie Conrad is an assistant at a reputable literary agency in Los Angeles, California. She loves her job, but hates her boss who abuses her with his rude comments about her abilities as an assistant. If Julie isn’t reading queries, ...
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 11:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!!

I didn't think it was dead because I just bought 4 newly released chick lit books last night at B & N. I was shocked to hear something like that!
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 11:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!!

And chick lit is dead!?!??! I didn't know that? When did this happen?
by kathleen
May 4th, 2010, 10:35 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!!

Dunno why I put publishing house when I meant agency. Dumb! I am looking at all your critiques and trying to find the best way to illustrate what I mean without taking out the information! This is my first query ever and am learning as I go. Any other helpful advice would be greatly appreciated (whe...
by kathleen
May 3rd, 2010, 11:33 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

Re: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!!

Thank you for that! I use the word "snarky" because my characters use it often. :)
I agree maybe I haven't made the stakes to high. I am still at a loss as to how to accomplish this. To me, losing my job would be awful. Anyone have some suggestions to piggy back on the crit?
by kathleen
May 3rd, 2010, 10:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!
Replies: 16
Views: 2647

QUERY HELP PLEASE!!! New Revised Copy at End of Post!

***REVISED QUERY AT END OF POST!*** This is my query! Please hack it to shreds because my ms is all set to go but I think the query needs some major help! Dear ____, Twenty-seven year old Julie Conrad is an assistant at a reputable publishing house in Los Angeles, California. She loves her job but h...