Search found 4 matches

by MelissaA
October 6th, 2010, 4:03 pm
Forum: Self-Publishing
Topic: Humane training book
Replies: 5
Views: 1112

Humane training book

Hey Nathan, I saw on Alan Rinzler's blog... http://www.alanrinzler.com/blog/2010/09/25/literary-agents-open-the-door-to-self-published-writers/... that you've sold a previously published book on humane dog training. Just wanted to say, "Good on ya!" There are a ton of resources on Dogwise and Amazon...
by MelissaA
September 10th, 2010, 9:28 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10
Replies: 33
Views: 29255

Re: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10

Passive voice is an issue here (particularly with the first line).
The first line isn't passive. "Were standing" is past progressive tense. It means the action is in progress, and it's a perfectly legitimate tense to use.
by MelissaA
September 10th, 2010, 1:57 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10
Replies: 33
Views: 29255

Re: Page Critique Friday 9/10/10

Thanks for offering your page up for critique! This is one of those pages where I'd like to see what follows, because I want to see if there's a reason for the distance in the writing. We are being told what's happening by some distant, omnicient narrator. It's hard to connect, hard to feel any surp...
by MelissaA
June 9th, 2010, 2:25 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 282973

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: DOUBTING RIVER Genre: Mainstream Word count: 240 Thwap, thwap, thwap, thwap. Lucas’s footsteps pounded a staccato rhythm along the trail: you’re late, you’re late. “I’m going as fast as I can,” he muttered, but he pushed his legs faster, hurdling fallen branches and zigzagging through close-p...