Search found 7 matches

by nlshippen
October 28th, 2019, 7:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Sensory Garden - Literary/Women's Fiction
Replies: 0
Views: 214

The Sensory Garden - Literary/Women's Fiction

Financially struggling office temp, Helen Johnson, thinks she’s been given the wrong handbook to live by. No matter how hard she tries, the Great Australian Dream of happy family, home ownership and career success is slipping further away. When Helen’s husband is laid off at work, she needs to step ...
by nlshippen
October 28th, 2019, 7:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Power Vested Within
Replies: 2
Views: 1662

Re: Query - The Power Vested Within

Great introduction to the character of Jace, who seems to be living life in survival mode - this captures my attention. His dilemma is he needs help, but thinks that if he asks for it, the consequences will be dire. The help he needs comes in the form of Leona, the President's daughter from the oppo...
by nlshippen
October 28th, 2019, 4:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query SORROW, REVENGE, DEATH
Replies: 1
Views: 1363

Re: Query SORROW, REVENGE, DEATH

The opening paragraph is a great catalyst for Rina's journey. Starting with the rape that she apparently keeps a secret and tries to come to terms with it on her own. I would like to know why she does not report this through official channels and whether she tells her mum. I suspect she has not, as ...
by nlshippen
October 27th, 2019, 11:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Bleamy's Corner
Replies: 2
Views: 4708

Re: Bleamy's Corner

Yes, I can see what hauntedsouls is saying above. Something I also have trouble with is knowing where a query ends and a synopsis begins. As the story goes, this one is a beauty and sadly a common scenario today. It reads well and flows nicely. The protagonist is appealing and I would look forward t...
by nlshippen
October 27th, 2019, 11:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Forest Whispers
Replies: 2
Views: 734

Re: Query - Forest Whispers

It's my understanding that genre and word count need to be at the top of the query so the agent knows whether your story is for them. I am not an expert, so perhaps more experienced writers can confirm if that is the case. In saying that, if I were an agent I would definitely want to see that inform...
by nlshippen
October 27th, 2019, 10:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query YA- The Last
Replies: 6
Views: 3985

Re: Query YA- The Last

Starting with the genre, word count and comps makes it easy for the reader to decide if this novel is what they are looking for. The opening line "locks are an invitation" really grabbed me and made me curious about the character and what was going to happen next. I got a little lost after that tryi...
by nlshippen
October 27th, 2019, 4:49 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 618
Views: 196101

Re: The Introduction Thread

Hello Everyone, I'm Naomi and I'm from Melbourne, Australia. I have recently completed my contemporary literary fiction novel and I am looking for feedback and to meet other writers. Looking forward to being a part of this community. Cheers, Naomi.