Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Aside from my notebook of doom (it weighs about as much as I do) dedicated to the fantasy series I will write someday, my tickler file is in my head. Rattling around between my ears are (2) webcomics, (1) graphic novel (1) historical fiction novel (1) sci-fi novel (6) YA fantasy novels (4) adult fan...

My (almost complete but as yet untitled) WIP is a YA novel aimed toward girls (I'm guessing...) Now that I'm almost finished with the first draft, I'm looking for some fresh eyes. Would anyone mind reading and reviewing my first page? I would really appreciate it :) Thank you, thank you! *Edit* The...

No matter how many times I read it, I can never form a set impression. On good days, I like it. On bad days, I wonder why I ever wrote it. This is one of those bad days, so I thought I'd get some help from you guys. -- Chapter 1 When the police arrived, I told them I’d missed the merge sign. I even...

Go ahead - do your best/worst. Any feedback is appreciated. Haunted by the superstitious lore of her mother, Alice Towne hasn’t been able to shake the feeling that something is not right. "something is not right" is a bit cliched. Try rephrasing When she looks in the mirror, she sees only...

Hello all! I have been lurking around for awhile now and just started posting so I suppose I should introduce myself. I live in Providence (which until recently resembled Atlantis, what with being underwater and all...) and work and write. Write more than I work, definitely. Been writing for 13 year...

First off, thanks to everyone who commented I found all the suggestions extremely helpful! (Especially Erica75, plus you made me laugh :) ) I feel like the query is almost there, but it just isn't making the story as clear as I would like. I should probably explain that there are other Nameless peop...

Thanks for the great comments Emily J. I have taken it to heart and shredded 100 words from the query. Please let me know how this new one sounds. Thanks. Dear Great Agent: Hidden away in another dimension lies a spiritual realm entrusted with balancing the forces of light and darkness throughout t...

Below is the query for my YA fantasy novel. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, be honest, be brutal! Dear Agent: Eighteen-year-old Erica Ann Dawson falls asleep in her bed in Batesfield, Connecticut and awakens to find herself driving down a four-lane highway. Plagued by inexplicable blackou...

EMIL SIROTEK is a foundling good word! living in a Catholic orphanage in Prague at the beginning of the twentieth century. As a foundling need comma he finds himself at the bottom social tier among the boys of the orphanage. Other boys might have some family still outside the orphanage, or at least...

Wow, this thread has made me feel much better about myself. Now I can explain to my much-abused friends, "I'm not crazy, I'm a writer!" My Hot & Cold varies on a day to day basis between "I AM THE GREATEST WRITER EVER!!" to "OMG A CHIMP WITH A TYPEWRITER COULD DO BETTER ...

This is a portion of my query letter and I'm wondering if I need to give a little more or a little less. Or does the summary sound a little generic (I can't think of any other word). Should I give a little more about the story? Is this too basic? Your thoughts? CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. ENTER. Af...

Okay, first off I should warn you that this is definitely not the type of literature I would be interested in. I would describe it as the grotesque. But that aside, after the first very active sentence you have sentence after sentence of telling rather than showing. It's like we started off in the w...

Thanks for the replies!

I had heard on a few blogs that anything post-high school is a tough sell. However, my FMC has just recently graduated HS. It's nice to know there's hope!

Okay, I have gone ahead and taken a look at your revised query: Hidden away in another dimension of existence I still find "of existence" unneccessary lies a spiritual realm entrusted with balancing the forces of light and darkness throughout the universe. This realm is on the verge of bei...

Okay I have a question that relates to this thread- (thinking of posting it on ask nathan) I have written a manuscript, (and revised it, numerous times) and I am pretty happy with the overall story, pacing, plot etc. But, here's my dilemna: it's a YA fantasy novel with a protagonist who is 18 years ...