Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Dear Agent: Janelle was living the life she’d always wanted. And now, she can’t remember any of it. as much as I hate amnesia (and ooh how I hate that over used device) I think this opening is effective The newest success of the Humani Project, a government-funded genetic experiment she’d sacrifice...

ack sorry distracted by the punctuation outside of quotation marks. It is a major pet peeve of mine.

If you are British, however, disregard said rant.

This is the opening 5 pages of The Man Who Did Too Much, which is a cozy/suspense mystery. ***** Chapter 1 Doctor Cannon was running late. She dashed in through the waiting room entrance, but found the room was empty. "Is Gwen here yet?" she asked the receptionist. "Not yet." Gw...

Okay, I probably should have started here before submitting to Mr. Bransford, but what the hell. Here's my rejected Query... Feed back appreciated. Note: I have modified my character's name and description ( I don't want to give any ideas away). Dear Agent, I have chosen to submit to you because I ...

Thanks so much for all you awesome advice on here guys! you ROCK big time! lol. Anyways I have wroked A TON on my query, got great critiques from many editors and here is my semi shiny query which will be sparkling brilliantly once you shred it. (I hope :) Here goes. Be as honest as ever because I ...

Interesting thread! I have to say I completely agree with Mira. I do not consciously write symbolism into my stories, however, I have a very hardworking subconscious and symbolism seems rampant in my stories. But generally I get annoyed by heavy handed symbolism, the beat you over the head with the ...

I'm liking it more and more. I couldn't do this without all the great comments. so do your best now. Just a side note for interest. The idea for this story has been with me for....cough,cough...40 years! During my senior year, I received a letter...not quite as threatening..with my senior picture.....

Taking all your guys' great advice into consideration, here is my revision: Dear ... I’m seeking representation for THE DRIFTER, a 55,000-word paranormal romance novel for young adults. For sixteen-year-old Pip, knowing everyone’s time of death is growing tiresome. Especially when she can’t stop it...

Any thoughts on this chapter would be appreciated. :) ----------- Chapter One Elizabeth Brooke was not spying. Great opener She stood in her own backyard, admiring a fine view that anyone could see from the road behind her, trying out a brand new pair of binoculars. If she happened to be pointing t...

I posted my original novel query here and got amazing help, so here goes my newest novel a Paranormal romance. Dum, dum, dum. Dear... I’m seeking representation for THE DRIFTER, a 55,000-word paranormal romance novel for young adults. For sixteen-year-old Pip, knowing everyone’s time of death is gr...

I've strafed and bombed a bunch of you with critiques and edits, and now humbly submit a query for the same. This is just the description part of the query. The greeting and bio/credits will be personalized for each agent. Thanks in advance for taking the time to lend a critical eye. - - - The days...

PROLOGUE A cauldron of blue light churned in the valley sky, casting a watery reflection over the surrounding mountains and a deep shadow over the valley floor. i like your opening sentence, good imagery The town residents, tucked into their houses like rows of babies in nursery cribs, remained qui...

This happens to me all the time! It's very difficult to focus on the novel at hand when the siren song of that new idea is calling out to you! Currently I guess I have give into that siren. I had outlined for a YA fantasy novel (to be the last in a 4 book series) and was all set to get writing... an...

Dear Agent: Alice Towne refuses to be like her mother. Infidelity having tarnished the life she planned, the last place she wants to be is home with Josephine, who pines over bad decisions and waits for fate to deal a better hand from the tarot deck. I like this sentence a lot, nice imagery Determi...

I would be happy to read your synopsis! You can either post it or message me, either way. And I am not kidding about being a big Greek mythology nerd, when I was a kid I had a copy of Bulfinch's Mythology that weighed more than I did! As for my Sci-Fi WIP, it's not typical Sci-Fi, there are no alien...