Search found 33 matches
- August 12th, 2011, 8:44 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Need Clarification
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1824
Re: Need Clarification
Beethovenfan and Polymath, thank you. Seeing both of your comments I understand now what they are looking for and I understand what I did wrong. I have also identified a couple of other spots in my novel where I did the same thing. Beehovenfan, thank you so much for the re-written explanation. Somet...
- August 11th, 2011, 11:52 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Need Clarification
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1824
Need Clarification
Hi guys. I'd like your take on a comment I received from a publisher who is very interested in my novel, but wants me to make some changes regarding a passage I wrote. The passage is below and then their comments follow. I would really like some clarification as to what they mean by the scene being ...
- April 9th, 2011, 10:24 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5548
Re: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
ok, I think this might be it: Dear Agent Name: David Heiland is anything but your average high school student: State track and archery champion, honor roll student, and oh, yeah, heir to a multi-million dollar fortune. He never dreamed he’d soon add protecting a magical, parallel world on the brink ...
- April 8th, 2011, 5:04 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - FLIGHT - magic realism (revised)
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1929
Re: Query - FLIGHT - magic realism
You know, I'd sort of like to see some sort of phoenix-like reference here. Does she change when she has these dreams? I'd want to see examples of when the transformations happened. Maybe something along the lines of: *** The first time Maria Black had a phoenix-like tranformation, she was _____ yea...
- April 8th, 2011, 4:39 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5548
Re: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
Bron, thank you so much!!! I'll leave it alone. (well, I'll try to see if I can sneak in there why David has to do the mages' bidding and what he needs to do)
You rock!
You rock!
- April 7th, 2011, 9:24 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5548
Re: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
Thank you, Allie, for your comments. Okay, I see what needs to be taken out (that is very consistent) but I feel I need to add something, I just don't know where. Maybe you can help me. David's dad died in a plane crash 3 months before David was born. His mom died within hours after giving birth to ...
- April 7th, 2011, 10:51 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5548
Re: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
Thank you, Collectonian. I'll pop over to query shark and review them again.
Darn. I thought I had it. :)
Darn. I thought I had it. :)
- April 7th, 2011, 7:14 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - In the Shadow of the Dragon King
- Replies: 13
- Views: 5548
- March 17th, 2011, 11:43 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: In the Shadow of the Dragon King - 2 page synopsis
- Replies: 3
- Views: 5707
Re: In the Shadow of the Dragon King - 2 page synopsis
Thank you, Daniela for your comments and taking time to read. I will see how I can incorporate your thoughts to make it a bit tighter.
- March 16th, 2011, 11:09 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: THE TIME Synopses (new version further down)
- Replies: 3
- Views: 3623
Re: THE TIME Synopses
Hannah, my first observation is I think you can skip a lot of the back story. Come up with your elevator pitch, those crucial 15 seconds to tell someone what your book is about. A one-liner. What is your book about? A woman who is sent back through time to find the person responsible for a string of...
- March 16th, 2011, 10:56 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)
- Replies: 8
- Views: 5408
Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)
ANA is a princess, and her grandmother SOL is a vicious pirate. Their worlds collide when the mysterious RANSOM who is Ransom? Is he a protector? A mage? Maybe a brief hint would help here. How can he be mysterious if he knows Ana well enough to send her away? Maybe 'mysterious' isn't the best word....
- March 16th, 2011, 10:13 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: In the Shadow of the Dragon King - 2 page synopsis
- Replies: 3
- Views: 5707
In the Shadow of the Dragon King - 2 page synopsis
I'm ready to start querying and would like some eyes on my synopsis. any comments would be helpful. I also have a four page synopsis in the event an agent or publisher wants a longer version. It reads much like this one but is a bit more detailed. “There’s no such thing as other worlds, not unless y...
- January 9th, 2011, 5:54 pm
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Looking for YA/New Adult Fantasy Critique Partner
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3138
Re: Looking for YA/New Adult Fantasy Critique Partner
Hi Jennifer: I would love to take a look. I've got two critiques going at the moment and am working on my 2nd novel so it may take a few days in between chapters to get back to you. If that's ok, then let's swap our first chapters. I'd love to take a look at what you have. It sounds kind of fun. :-)...
- January 6th, 2011, 7:30 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: How do you deal with thoughts?
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7797
Re: How do you deal with thoughts?
I use italics if it's internal thought like Now, where did I place my book? I try to stay away from saying 'he thought' because that's a sort of telling to me. I'd rather the reader be inside my character's head. I guess it really doesn't matter as long as you remain consistent throughout the book a...
- January 4th, 2011, 12:10 pm
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Looking for YA/New Adult Fantasy Critique Partner
- Replies: 5
- Views: 3138
Re: Looking for YA/New Adult Fantasy Critique Partner
That would be great, Hannah! Since you are my target age group, I can't think of a better partner.
my e-mail is kford2007@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you. I only have 12 chapters ready to be looked at.
my e-mail is kford2007@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you. I only have 12 chapters ready to be looked at.