Search found 84 matches

by kenpochick
April 17th, 2014, 7:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: MOORHOUSE (Upper MG Dark Fantasy)
Replies: 3
Views: 4774

Re: Query: MOORHOUSE (Upper MG Dark Fantasy)

I see that you posted this a while ago. I just wanted to say it sounds good! Maybe just polish the last couple of paragraphs and combine them, but otherwise sounds like a great story. :-)
by kenpochick
April 17th, 2014, 7:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for A TAINT IN PUTNAM
Replies: 1
Views: 2026

Re: Query for A TAINT IN PUTNAM

Hi there,

I think you need to focus. I couldn't understand any of this.

Try to focus on: 1) Who is your protagonist? 2) What do they want? 3)What is in their way? 4)What happens if they fail?

Good luck. I hate queries too. :-)
by kenpochick
April 17th, 2014, 6:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Romance Query. V.O.I.C.E
Replies: 2
Views: 2870

Re: YA Romance Query. V.O.I.C.E

Dear (agent) Have you ever regretted kissing anybody before? No rhetorical questions. Well Evalyn has decided that even if she shouldn’t be kissing Carter she isn’t going to regret it , ; she is even going to enjoy it , . a forbidden kiss between step brother and step sister that never should have h...
by kenpochick
June 6th, 2011, 11:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - By the Sword (YA Fantasy) - 3rd Revision
Replies: 22
Views: 2791

Re: Query - By the Sword (Fantasy)

Dear Agent, Kill. That is what warriors are supposed to do. (Is that really what warrior are supposed to do? That seems more like assassin where a warrior may protect or defend.) They are not supposed to (have?) dream visions or fall (in love with ) for their worst enemy. Twenty-two year old Talya ...
by kenpochick
June 6th, 2011, 11:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Re: Query Help for The Engram Mystery
Replies: 5
Views: 1118

Re: Query Help for The Engram Mystery

This query needs a lot of work. I have no idea what your book is about. Everything appears to be in fragments that jump around. It actually reminds me of when I would read to my son and he would flip the pages before I could finish reading so that I only got to read a few words per page creating thi...
by kenpochick
June 6th, 2011, 11:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy
Replies: 9
Views: 1427

Re: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy

Thanks Tom. Good points. Yes, the Quest is an institution which is why I have it capitalized through the manuscript. Every prince has to complete one and the requirement is common knowledge. The captive princess does conveniently bring our heroes to the palace but she's there to guarantee another ki...
by kenpochick
May 29th, 2011, 11:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy
Replies: 9
Views: 1427

Re: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy

Ok, some changes. ************** As a child Prince Lucien inadvertently caused the death of his older brother. Now he eagerly awaits his Quest where he can finally prove that he’s not the consolation prize, but a prince worthy of the throne. Of course with dragons extinct there are few Quest opportu...
by kenpochick
May 29th, 2011, 11:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy
Replies: 9
Views: 1427

Re: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy

Thanks for the feedback guys! I'll definitely incorporate them.
by kenpochick
May 27th, 2011, 10:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy
Replies: 9
Views: 1427

Happily Sometime After --YA Fantasy

Hello all! I haven't been here in a while because I...well I've been writing. And I started my own business and blah blah blah. I'm hoping you lovely people could take a look at this query and let me know what you think. I don't want to fall into movie promo mode so any help would be appreciated. **...
by kenpochick
May 22nd, 2010, 11:26 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: You have another think coming
Replies: 35
Views: 9363

Re: You have another think coming

Nathan Bransford wrote:
Did everyone else already know this? I had no idea!!
I did actually and you know where I know it from. Alice in Wonderland. LOL!

The Mad Hatter: Would you like to take it now?
Alice: Take what?
MH: Your other think! You have it coming you know!
by kenpochick
May 22nd, 2010, 10:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: 3rd try Query- CAPTIVATED
Replies: 5
Views: 889

Re: First Query- CAPTIVATED

Okay, this is my first attempt at a query letter. I've tried to take advice from all the different blogs I've read, but there's nothing like having my own work critiqued, so here it is! Oh, and just FYI, I'm well aware of how crazy the word count is, and I'm working on reducing it while still keepi...
by kenpochick
May 22nd, 2010, 10:17 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Replies: 24
Views: 3698

Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS

This sounds fabulous! I was hooked from the first sentence and I think you'll do well. I agree with the others on the title, it needs to change. I know you changed it ghosts and aliens but maybe something a little more creative. I was confused though when you mentioned "Lovely Bones" as an inspirati...
by kenpochick
May 22nd, 2010, 10:00 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Ups and Downs
Replies: 9
Views: 1564

Re: Ups and Downs

(It's always when you least expect it, right?) You know that's very true. I'm working on a new YA which does help although every once in a while I start panicking about the one I'm querying. You know, I think I made a mistake in not setting up a new email account for queries. Every time I log in to...
by kenpochick
May 22nd, 2010, 9:52 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Too much for my poor little nerves
Replies: 10
Views: 1595

Re: Too much for my poor little nerves

I know exactly what you mean!! I just got a no on a partial which bummed me out. I've got a full pending and I'm waiting on quite a few. Patience is not my thing. I've tried to distract myself by writing a new book. I'm querying a children's book and writing a young adult that I'm excited about. Han...
by kenpochick
May 18th, 2010, 10:09 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Rejection Stats
Replies: 227
Views: 95991

Re: Rejection Stats

Ok, I'll join too. Genre: Children's Total queries sent to date: 35 Queries still awaiting response: 25 Rejections to date: 10 Form rejections: 9 Personalized rejections: 1 She said the voice didn't grab her as much as she had hoped but she was sure that another agent would snap me up. I wish that o...