Search found 38 matches
- August 23rd, 2011, 11:37 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Scene length and pacing
- Replies: 12
- Views: 10965
Re: Scene length and pacing
This! There is a certain rhythm to every scene, I think, and you have to pay attention more to that - the rising and falling of action, of tension, ending it at just the right spot. That is more important than any exact length. Which, I realize, is not tremendously helpful, because it is more an in...
- July 6th, 2010, 10:31 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 451916
Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Title: The Messiah Notebooks Genre: Alternative history It was April the 19th, 1820, when Miss Emily Trey came face to face with her mentor’s last words. The haphazard scrawl was difficult to read between the tears in Miss Trey’s eyes and the ink that had been spilt all over the paper, but this is ...
- June 27th, 2010, 8:56 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4508
Re: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
-Fixed- =D
Thanks so much for your patience and advice--I'm so much more confident in the query, now! The unreadable character is an em-dash--trust Microsoft Word to scramble whatever I copy and paste.
Thanks so much for your patience and advice--I'm so much more confident in the query, now! The unreadable character is an em-dash--trust Microsoft Word to scramble whatever I copy and paste.
- June 26th, 2010, 12:59 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4508
Re: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
Resurrecting the thread a bit, here, but after wrestling with wording (and trying not to lose the meaning in the process), this is what I've come up with to try to rectify the sentence structure issues and build in the few hints still needed. It might be completely off the mark the sentences are, at...
- June 24th, 2010, 1:45 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4508
Re: The Messiah Notebooks query
Alright, so, I ran over it again with the comments, and here's the newly revised one. I did my best to incorporate the information that best connects the reader with the protagonists... How does this sound? It hasn't been as heavily edited as the first one for wording, so some bits may still sound a...
- June 23rd, 2010, 8:49 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4508
Re: The Messiah Notebooks query
Ahhh, alright, my mistake, then. I know people have had some confusion with it before, because while there is an element of the supernatural in the novel, there is no magic , per say. But anything along the lines of The Prestige is brilliant--that movie is incredible! The book, by Christopher Priest...
- June 23rd, 2010, 4:39 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4508
Re: The Messiah Notebooks query
Brilliant suggestions, guys, thank you. My characters are referred to throughout the story by their last name or with "Miss," "Mr," etc. so I'll keep that in...but beyond that, I see what you mean about the plot. It seems that the main discrepancy is with the role of the Morality...
- June 23rd, 2010, 11:29 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4508
The Messiah Notebooks query (Updated!)
I've gone over this query to a point of obsession, and I think it's best for my sanity I send it out for critique at long last. Thanks, everyone, all advice/criticism/witty comments/not so witty comments are hugely appreciated. UPDATED VERSION: It is 1820, and Miss Emily Trey, a twenty-year-old Brit...
- June 23rd, 2010, 10:40 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Hunt, YA Urban Fantasy - 2nd Draft Is Up
- Replies: 9
- Views: 4161
Re: Query: Hunt, YA Urban Fantasy - 2nd Draft Is Up
S ECOND DRAFT: In HUNT, sixteen-year-old Abby Connolly remembers something she shouldn’t be able to, bringing the focus of the Wild Hunt – and its leader Thomas Bowen – down on her. Though half her grade goes to the ruins of the manor in the forest, Abby is the only one who remembers the hateful pre...
- June 18th, 2010, 10:01 pm
- Forum: Books
- Topic: The Novella and Stephanie Meyer
- Replies: 10
- Views: 3743
Re: The Novella and Stephanie Meyer
Nice paper is an art form in and of itself...that's why stores like Papyrus are so wonderful. I feel like I read the free portion online...I'm not a Twilight fan, but it's interesting to see mainstream authors step out into the less conventional. Let's see if this prompts a deluge of undead novellas...
- June 18th, 2010, 9:32 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Bond of Darkness Query
- Replies: 11
- Views: 4272
Re: Bond of Darkness Query
I'm no expert on queries, but I think it's definitely intriguing and explains well the world and sense of deadly duplicity you're trying to create. My only real complain is a bit of the order in the first paragraph. Valence being a pawn is restated in your hook and also in the second sentence, which...
- June 18th, 2010, 8:41 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 213
- Views: 183586
Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Dear Nathan, It is 1820, and Miss Emily Trey, a twenty-year-old British expatriate, has just come to possess the most dangerous notebook in all of Italy. It belongs to Christian Harking: magician, scientist, and notorious liar. He is also Miss Trey’s mentor, and co-creator of the Morality Generator,...
- April 28th, 2010, 5:48 pm
- Forum: Procrastination
- Topic: What do you "do"?
- Replies: 41
- Views: 13928
Re: What do you "do"?
Full time high school student with a dash of science research on the side. ;D Or as close as you can get to that while underage...without a college degree...
It'll get there, though. Hopefully after counting myself as a proper author.
It'll get there, though. Hopefully after counting myself as a proper author.
- April 3rd, 2010, 11:31 am
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: When bookstores steal your novels
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4146
Re: When bookstores steal your novels
Oh yeah, of course. Don't worry, despite all hyperbole I'm totally understanding of that, but I'm sure I'm not the only one to walk into what seems like a better-written version of one's book.
- April 2nd, 2010, 11:42 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: When bookstores steal your novels
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4146
When bookstores steal your novels
I can't be the only one who experiences this. There you are, soaking up the atmosphere of your favorite bookstore, browsing the shelves and taking in titles, when something catches your eye. The novel has an attractive cover, a title that fits snug as a bug in a rug when you glance at it. Your pulse...