Search found 6 matches

by Tara Queries
February 21st, 2010, 10:08 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: A Measure of Disorder (YA Fantasy) REVISED AGAIN = )
Replies: 19
Views: 3145

Re: QUERY: A Measure of Disorder (YA Fantasy) REVISED AGAIN = )

Coach - you may have already tried this, but a quick way to lose several thousand words is to take out every unneeded "that." Ex. - "Jenni liked the fact that this world was new," could be: "Jenni liked the fact this world was new." Terrible example, but you get the idea. This little trick trimmed a...
by Tara Queries
February 19th, 2010, 9:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - Zombie Queen
Replies: 16
Views: 3308

Re: Query Critique - Zombie Queen

Absolutely hilarious. I agree with all the critiques of the previous post, but definitely think this one has some massive appeal!
by Tara Queries
February 19th, 2010, 6:04 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: HEREAFTER, YA Paranormal Romance
Replies: 7
Views: 1452

Re: Query: HEREAFTER, YA Paranormal Romance

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments today. I took your advice and a big risk, and sent out a revised query to just a few agents. And...I just got my first full MS request! Even if it ultimately results in a rejection, I think I might explode from excitement. I intend to return to this...
by Tara Queries
February 19th, 2010, 2:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: A Measure of Disorder (YA Fantasy) REVISED AGAIN = )
Replies: 19
Views: 3145

Re: QUERY: A Measure of Disorder (MG Fantasy) Vastly REVISED

Dear Prospective Agent, Jenni Kershaw is an ordinary eighth grader stuck in an ordinary life and she’s extraordinarily tired of it! I like the parallel use of "ordinary" here, but I might pop a comma in here before the "and"...your choice. I would also cut the exclamation marks. Her break from the o...
by Tara Queries
February 19th, 2010, 1:56 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: HEREAFTER, YA Paranormal Romance
Replies: 7
Views: 1452

Re: Query: HEREAFTER, YA Paranormal Romance

Fantastic suggestions, Coach and Genius! I'm awfully new at this, but I'd love to provide my feedback on your queries as well!
by Tara Queries
February 19th, 2010, 9:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: HEREAFTER, YA Paranormal Romance
Replies: 7
Views: 1452

Query: HEREAFTER, YA Paranormal Romance

Thank you for your feedback, in advance. This is my first novel and my first time to query an agent, so feedback of the more knowledgeable/expereinced is much appreciated. Dear Awesome Agent, Eighteen-year-old Amelia never imagined her afterlife would be like this: wandering unseen through the wood...