Search found 27 matches
- September 2nd, 2010, 9:46 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
D.S. did not intend to insult you. Just asking to play nice. My friend says there is a saying in the AA community that states 'if someone says you have a problem, by virtue of them mentioning it you do'..or something like that.. if you say flight is confusing than it is pure and simple, likewise if ...
- September 2nd, 2010, 5:38 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
I do want to mention as well, particularly to D.S. Deshaw that a I am looking for a suggestive critic and a bit of professionalism. I know this public forum is far from my grad school critiques, still there is nothing beneficial with using sentiments like, pompous, boring, typical, cliche, bragging....
- September 2nd, 2010, 4:13 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
The feedback about the treasure is insightful. Here it its,the word perfect is a double entendre. It is the 'Perfect' treasure because a cathar holy person is called a 'Parfait' or 'Perfect'. The whole twist to the book, (and factual history) is that the young woman herself turns out to be the treas...
- September 2nd, 2010, 3:23 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 213
- Views: 184300
Re: Nominate Your Query for a Critique on the Blog
Dear Ms. Agent, Recipe for Clandestine War 2 secret societies 1 arcane treasure 2 holy women 1 Celebrity Chef w/ military experience Mix secret societies together then heat to a boil. Add arcane treasure. Add holy women and Celebrity Chef. Sprinkle with menace. For extra flavor add havoc and spread ...
- September 2nd, 2010, 3:20 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 453355
Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Title: Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure Genre: Thriller The man’s eyes were wide, his face flush. “Come quick!” he said. “There’s a guy in trouble in here. I think he’s having a heart attack or somethin’.” “What, um, I’ll get the maitre d’,” said the waiter. The man had stuck his head out of...
- September 2nd, 2010, 1:35 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 6 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
REVISION 7 Thanks to everyone for the awesome feedback. This would be impossible without other eyes. Writing a query is always tough, though it is a lot more fun in this genre than literary fiction. First a note to D.S. Deshaw - You are absolutely right!!! No one wants to read about defenseless you...
- September 1st, 2010, 12:31 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 5 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
REVISION 6 a little slicker Dear Ms. Agent, Recipe for Clandestine War 2 secret societies 1 arcane treasure 2 defenseless young holy women 1 Celebrity Chef w/ military experience Mix the secret societies together then heat to a boil. Add the defenseless holy women and Celebrity Chef. Sprinkle with ...
- September 1st, 2010, 1:36 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 4 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
REVISION 5 Great feedback on repeats plus Nathan's post about cliche hit right after I queried him. (of course I queried him first). Modified the angle a bit, not sure about the peril for peace transition. Dear Ms. Agent Recipe for Clandestine War 2 secret societies 1 arcane treasure 2 defenseless ...
- August 30th, 2010, 1:59 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 4 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
Quill - thanks for the feedback!! The agents I am targeting understand 'synergistic potential'. It is industry jargon so outside of salespeople it means nothing. It means there is a potential for series mates, or even a sequel, that can help turn a book into a brand. Also -thanks for catching Restau...
- August 30th, 2010, 2:17 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 3 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
REVISION 4 Dear Ms. Agent Cameron Kincaid is a retired commando of the French Foreign Legion’s elite Corsican Parachute Commando Group. In his retirement, Cameron has become a chef, a Gourmet Channel personality, and opened a restaurant on the New York Upper Westside. When the Rex Mundi attempt to ...
- August 29th, 2010, 2:26 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: REVISION 3 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
Love the feedback!!! Writing a query for an adventure is a lot more fun than literary. I am excited to start querying on Monday. How awesome it would be to send an agent on their Labor Day vacation with a full!!! OK REVISION 3 note: once again the 'appeals to' section is only for agents with the sub...
- August 29th, 2010, 10:31 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
Re: Query Critique – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
REVISION 2 note to Janet Reid disciples - the 'appeals to section' is only to be included to agents who ask for it it in their submission guidelines. See 'examples of a good query' on Nathan's blog for the fast paced Rock, Paper, Tiger query Dear Ms. Agent, New York chef Cameron Kincaid left the da...
- August 28th, 2010, 11:30 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
- Replies: 23
- Views: 7852
REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
Please scroll to the end to critique REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure – Another novel and another query. Let's see if a foray into genre does any better than literary fiction. Dear Ms. Agent, (personal note to the agent) New York chef and restaurateur Cameron Kincaid left the d...
- March 25th, 2010, 12:53 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Critique - The Potter's Daughter - Revision 5
- Replies: 26
- Views: 7659
Re: Query Critique - The Potter's Daughter - Revision 5
eringayles - the title is a WIP title. It is my understanding that most MS do not retain their title through publishing so I am not over thinking it at this time. jtb - yes, I have both research and first hand knowledge of my material, though I use it mostly for my own backstory as the novel does no...
- March 12th, 2010, 2:45 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
- Replies: 37
- Views: 13103
Re: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
GeeGee, I think you are correct in that what you have is what you wrote. I like to think (in my little fantasy bubble) that prospective agents are giving you the benefit of the doubt that your novel is written well and is a good one and that they are perusing queries to see if it is a topic they can...