Pitch help? (YA)

[otherside89girl]

*edit*

Thanks so much for the help

(I deleted my pitch out of sheer embarrassment, but I will take the advice to heart!)

[wordranger]

Ugh! I HATE pitches. I am not an expert BY FAR.... But I'm not sure that this really tells what the story is about.
It starts to tell us, but it started to lose me here...

but realizes with the help of her broken family and strange new friend Benny that the truly awesome person need not rely on partying to lead a life of awesomeness.

I'm not really sure that this tells what your story is about. What really happens? Again, I am not an expert, and I am struggling with my pitch, too.

Have you looked at Pitch University? They have a lot of great information there on pitching and queries. You might want to check it out. Here's the link

http://www.pitch-university.com/school- ... -your.html

By the way, there is a section in this forum for stuff like this. Look under "Feedback Central"

[polymath]

Workshoppers I've encountered ask, "What's the conflict?" Dramatic conflict is as an elusive and taken for granted buzz phrase that's difficult to pin down let alone master, like show and tell. A similar, simpler, and more easily accessible literary concept is dramatic complication.

Asking the W questions foundational to all writing, and answering them with a narrative, who, what, when, where, why, and how, is the dramatic complication played out between Shelly, her family, Julian, Benny, and the party scene? What's Shelly want that others and herself complicate? The glitz and glammor and shallow, empty, fickle approval of the party scene? What does she really want that she has to struggle insuperably to come to understand and perhaps with which she might reach some sort of accommodation? Awesomeness, I imagine. In what unique to Shelly way awesome?

[polymath]

*edit*

Thanks so much for the help

(I deleted my pitch out of sheer embarrassment, but I will take the advice to heart!)

Oh no! The pitch wasn't so terrible it deserves embarrassment. It had the germs of inspired creation. The only shortcomings it had to my thinking is a generic sense of what the narrative's about. Generic is as good a place to start as specific, which for pitches can be equally frustrating. It nonetheless is a place to start and build upon.

Given by the pitch without overstating the obvious; young adult coming of age theme; compelling Setting, the party scene, potentially causal, tension driving, and antagonistic and life complicating and accessible complications from the Setting and the supporting Characters, or the main facets of Plot; Idea, that's theme in a nutshell; Characters, I felt a touch of rapport for Shelly because I at one time was attracted to the party scene, a rebellious love interest, and the odd friend out of the pack of norms; Event, hmm, I have a question there, what event specifically complicates Shelly's life; and Discourse, the pitch's voice suggested to me Shelly's naivete regarding her desires; which is stellar.

Anyway, that's five out of six of SPICED's pivotal facets suggested. I'd say tighten up the event facet, be specific about how an event is pivotal to inciting Shelly into action and compelling her toward change, and the pitch would be on its way forward. I'm also guessing preparing the pitch is a precursor to draft writing. That's an excellent method for beginning prewriting.

Event isn't just situational, it's emotionally compelling for the sakes of reader empathy and curiosity. Actually, I feel a little pity for Shelly, thus some rapport, going young into the meat grinder party scene, which is a start. Got me to making comparisons with Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls.

[otherside89girl]

Wow, thanks so much, polymath! Very helpful indeed.

I am actually almost halfway through the first draft. I'm preparing the pitch for an upcoming writers' conference. (Although I won't be officially pitching, of course, since my novel isn't nearly finished.) I never thought of writing a pitch to prepare for prewriting, but that sounds like a great idea!