Blurb~Historical Fantasy~151 words

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lewaters777
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Joined: July 6th, 2011, 10:28 pm
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Blurb~Historical Fantasy~151 words

Post by lewaters777 » August 6th, 2011, 2:17 pm

Here is my working blurb for the back of my self-published novel due to launch 11-11-11. I would love ANY feedback on how to improve this very important (and very difficult) promotional tool. Please let me know what works and what doesn't.



Maya’s shocked to discover it’s not the heaven she imagined; in fact, a life of adventure begins the moment you die.

Zachariah, her faithful spirit guide, explains the rules of the dead: in order to regain complete awareness and reunite with loved ones, all souls must review their previous lives.

Maya plunges warily into her turbulent pasts as: a sociopathic High Priest in ancient Egypt; an independent mother protecting a dangerous secret in glorious Sparta; an Irish boy kidnapped and enslaved by Vikings; and a doctor’s wife forced to make a ethical stand in plague-ridden England.

All the while, Maya yearns to be with those she cares about most, and worries that she hasn’t learned all of heaven’s most vital lessons. Will she be forced to leave the tranquility of heaven to survive yet another painful and tumultuous life; or worse, accept the bitter reality of having to go back alone?
Visit my website & blog at www.laurenwaters.net

NickB
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Joined: March 13th, 2010, 7:26 pm
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Re: Blurb~Historical Fantasy~151 words

Post by NickB » August 9th, 2011, 10:00 pm

Sounds like something I'd enjoy.
Here are my thoughts on the blurb:

First line:

a quick descriptor of what she imagined would be good...one adjective or a phrase...like did she expect, restful, peaceful, boring?

With which "loved ones" will she be reunited? If we get several lives, will it just be the loved ones who are "done" evolving. Is that how it goes in her world? Lotsa lives, then you get to heaven? OR do you mean she wants to go back as a ghost? I don't think that's what you mean.

Are these "people she cares about most" in heaven? still on earth? // does she want to go back as a ghost or is that the "go back alone thing?"

'kay, i think you mean she wants to stay in heaven with her most loved peeps, but I'm not sure about it.

So, I know it seems like i'm asking a LOT of questions, but I really like this blurb and would definitely open the book if I read this on the cover in a bookstore. I know you don't want to give away too much. However, clarifying these points may help.

I hope this is what you had in mind when you asked for feedback. Please let me know when the book's out, name, where I can get it, etc. Thanks. Nick

lewaters777
Posts: 56
Joined: July 6th, 2011, 10:28 pm
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Re: Blurb~Historical Fantasy~151 words

Post by lewaters777 » August 10th, 2011, 6:38 pm

Thanks Nick, that is just the kind of feedback that I'm looking for. Sometimes when you write it's so important to hear what others have derived from it and the questions it leaves them with. I like all the questions it's made you think about and I hope it would make someone want to read more to find those answers. I will tweak the first line a bit to describe what she expected, that's a great point! I will definitely post on here again when I get close to my launch date and thanks again for your thoughts.
Visit my website & blog at www.laurenwaters.net

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