Synopsis - FIGMENT - YA/Fantasy

[trirae]

I am so grateful for the help I've received on the query. I'll admit off the top, I find the synopsis incredibly daunting. Please have at it.

GEORGE is AUDREY PARKER’s (17) imaginary friend. He was supposed to leave her to six years ago. ‘The Council,’ his leaders, expect him to return to his world for a new human assignment—after all, girls her age aren’t supposed to have pretend friends. Instead, he stays tucked in the back of her imagination, watching her depression and isolation grow, until the start of her senior year.

Her first day begins typically—name calling and a very public fall—but change comes immediately when JOSH EVANS, the “it” boy helps her up. Then, an old friend invites her to eat lunch at her table. George knows Audrey struggles with relationships, in part, because she thinks he abandoned her. He wants to help her break out of her self-imposed solitude, but he’s not sure what he can do. He’s not real.
Then one day, he surprises himself and pushes Audrey out of the way when she’s about to be ambushed by the school meanest girl. The next day he wipes a tear away. Fueled by his newfound skill, he does something even crazier: he becomes human.

Being human isn’t as easy as he expected. Without an identity or money, he camps out in the woods behind Audrey’s house with items he steals from her house. Motivated to get closer to Audrey, he concocts a story which enables him to start high school. Based on her misperception that he is a runaway, he and Audrey forge a friendship. She helps him find odd jobs to make money and crafts fake documents to get the school off his back. In return, he secretively finds ways to get the mean girls off her back and encourages Josh to ask Audrey out. He wants to tell her the truth, but he’s afraid of what the Council would do to her. He’s been warned by his contacts that the less she knows, the better. If her mind is closed to the idea, it may prevent the Council from getting to her through her own imagination. In fact, he’s told it would be best to distance himself from her altogether. That proves harder than he expected, especially after he helps her practice dancing for Homecoming, he knows there is more to their relationship than friendship.

Signs that something is amiss drive George to panic. Audrey sees an imaginary friend on the bus. George is confronted by one at school. Then one day, they’re all gone, and he knows he’s in trouble. He must leave Audrey to protect her. Unfortunately, saying goodbye is the trigger that causes Audrey to figure out who he is, which opens the door for The Council to get to her.

Once Audrey realizes who George is, she tries to run after him, but is pulled away from her world and into his by BOO BOO, the former imaginary friend of her neighbor. He explains that her mind is under attack by the Council. He takes her to Central, the hub through which all imaginary friends filter, to figure out how to save her. There, they eventually meet up with George, and the three of them face mind bending challenges from feathers and trees that attack to confronting their personal demons.

In one attack, they lose Boo Boo, but they’ve gained information which George plans to use to get Audrey back home. George knows he won’t be able to join her; he must stay to make sure the Council can’t get to her anymore. George and Audrey make it to the room where human minds are contained. Overwhelmed by the volume of containers, they only have time to find one. In a goodbye kiss, the two finally admit to feelings that have been unacknowledged.

Immediately after Audrey leaves, George is captured and convicted by the Council. They lock him back up in white space of nothingness to await his sentencing, but Boo Boo and other friends free him. Under disguise, they send him off to an imagination, planning to close the connection permanently. George has to find a way to become human again or he will be stuck in a new human’s imagination. At the last second, he succeeds.

He’d been warned that Audrey’s connection to his world is cut off, and she’s not likely to remember him. He rings her doorbell, uncertain as to whether she’ll recognize him. At first, she gives nothing away, treating him as if he were just a kid from school, but then she asks him if they are safe, and relief floods him. After he recaps what happened in Central, the two nervously acknowledge their feelings for each other and kiss again. It’s everything he imagined it could be.

[clara_w]

GEORGE is AUDREY PARKER’s (17) imaginary friend. He was supposed to leave her to six years ago. ‘The Council,’ his leaders, expect him to return to his world for a new human assignment—after all, girls her age aren’t supposed to have pretend friends. Instead, he stays tucked in the back of her imagination, watching her depression and isolation grow, until the start of her senior year. Great start!

Her first day begins typically—name calling and a very public fall—but change comes immediately when JOSH EVANS, the “it” boy helps her up. Then, an old friend invites her to eat lunch at her table. Id take this sentence out, all it does is confuse the reader, and it seems you are just enumerating what happens in your story rather then really telling in a captivating way. George knows Audrey struggles with relationships, in part, because she thinks he abandoned her. He wants to help her break out of her self-imposed solitude, but he’s not sure what he can do. He’s not real.
Then Id cut the Then here too.one day, he surprises himself and pushes Audrey out of the way when she’s about to be ambushed by the school meanest girl. The next day he wipes a tear away. Fueled by his newfound skill, he does something even crazier: he becomes human. Id say: When he discovers habilities not all other imaginary friends have, George becomes human. Or something like that.

Being human isn’t as easy as he expected. Without an identity or money, he camps out in the woods behind Audrey’s house with items he steals from her house. Motivated to get closer to Audrey, he concocts a story which enables him to start high school. Based on her misperception that he is a runaway, he and Audrey forge a friendship. She helps him find odd jobs to make money and crafts fake documents to get the school off his back. In return, he secretively finds ways to get the mean girls off her back and encourages Josh to ask Audrey out. He wants to tell her the truth, but he’s afraid of what the Council would do to her. He’s been warned by his contacts that the less she knows, the better. If her mind is closed to the idea, it may prevent the Council from getting to her through her own imagination. In fact, he’s told it would be best to distance himself from her altogether. That proves harder than he expected, especially after he helps her practice dancing for Homecoming, he knows there is more to their relationship than friendship.excellent paragraph here.

Signs that something is amiss drive George to panic. Audrey sees an imaginary friend on the bus. George is confronted by one at school. Then one day, they’re all gone, and he knows he’s in trouble. He must leave Audrey to protect her. Unfortunately, saying goodbye is the trigger that causes Audrey to figure out who he is, which opens the door for The Council to get to her.

Once Audrey realizes who George is, she tries to run after him, but is pulled away from her world and into his by BOO BOO, the former imaginary friend of her neighbor. He explains that her mind is under attack by the Council. He takes her to Central, the hub through which all imaginary friends filter, to figure out how to save her. There, they eventually meet up with George, and the three of them face mind bending challenges from feathers and trees that attack to confronting their personal demons.

In one attack, they lose Boo Boo, but they’ve gained information which George plans to use to get Audrey back home. George knows he won’t be able to join her; he must stay to make sure the Council can’t get to her anymore. George and Audrey make it to the room where human minds are contained. Overwhelmed by the volume of containers, they only have time to find one. In a goodbye kiss, the two finally admit to feelings that have been unacknowledged.

Immediately after Audrey leaves, George is captured and convicted by the Council. They lock him back up in white space of nothingness to await his sentencing, but Boo Boo id add: returning from the dead, or something liek thatand other friends free him. Under disguise, they send him off to an imagination, planning to close the connection permanently. George has to find a way to become human again or he will be stuck in a new human’s imagination. Specify why thats not good. At the last second, he succeeds.

He’d been warned that Audrey’s connection to his world is cut off, and she’s not likely to remember him. He rings her doorbell, uncertain as to whether she’ll recognize him. At first, she gives nothing away, treating him as if he were just a kid from school, but then she asks him if they are safe, and relief floods him. After he recaps what happened in Central, the two nervously acknowledge their feelings for each other and kiss again. It’s everything he imagined it could be.Havent they already kissed? The last sentence is a tad confusing

A solid story here, very interesting. And the synopsis is good too! Good luck!

[maggie]

I really like the idea of this! I feel like this is something I would pick up as a new twist on urban fantasy.

I saw your query too, and in comparison, one thing I found that you might want to watch out for in your synopsis is making sure it comes off as the correct age range. There were a few times in the synopsis when I found myself wondering if it was an MG book and not YA. The name Boo Boo (very cute detail, but does sound child-like), getting attacked by trees, and, to an extent, the voice of the synopsis.

Please feel free to ignore these suggestions! But, if it were me, I would probably want to make sure the reader knows that it is firmly YA (which I'm assuming it is since I see hints of romance?). To do this, maybe talk more about anything that is definitely not MG (maybe add more of the romance plot, or talk about it in more YA terms than just them chastely kissing--maybe add a line about forbidden love and all that :) ), and add any edgier plot elements from school or home that would make it YA (being made fun of at school, etc are not necessarily indicative of high school--could be any age). In short, I would make it sound more grown up--assuming that is the tone of your book. If it's not, that's a whole different story!

I really like the direction it's going, though.

[trirae]

You've both been incredibly helpful. I'm going to work on revisions in the next few days, but I wanted to let you know I greatly appreciate the feedback.