Query for Sonora Symphony

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longknife
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Query for Sonora Symphony

Post by longknife » April 28th, 2015, 12:40 pm

Dear xxx,

I am seeking representation for Sonora Symphony, a contemporary novel of 109,000 words. Your blog and agency website indicates your interest in the American west and spirituality. (This to be personalized for each agent.) Through the eyes of American Indians, this novel contains both.

This is a unique approach to a serious problem facing tens of thousands of people suffering from Post Traumatic Symptom Disorder. It effects military and civilians alike. A similar program of healing Marines suffering PTSD was tried at Camp Pendelton, California but I do not know why or when it was discontinued. I ws fortunate in that mine was dealt with over the years, although I still react badly to the sound of gun fire decades later.

Staff Sergeant Ray Daniels is lost in the fog of war. He is unaware of who he is, where he came from, and how he received the wounds that put him in the hospital. Those around him receive visitors and regular contacts with friends and family. He is alone and nobody will tell him anything. Frustrated and angry at being poked and prodded and asked questions for which he has no answers, Ray leaves the hospital and with but twenty dollars in his pocket, sets off into the night.

Ray's spirit guides lead him to a small all-night diner in the Sonora Desert. Joe Redmond is an elder of the Tohono O'odham tribe and watches Ray enter. Joe knows all too well the look of combat fatigue and his heart goes out to the soldier. When he learns that Ray has but a few coins in his pocket and nowhere to go, he takes him into his home. Perhaps healing this young man will take away the sorrow of the recent loss of his wife to cancer.

In the weeks that follow, Ray is introduced to the life and beauty of the desert, regaining strength due to the good food and herbs Joe feeds him. His memory returns in bits and pieces because of the Native American stories and legends Joe tells him. Many of them touch the edges of his memory. With Joe's help, Ray learns it is possible that he is Cherokee, confirmed by the arrival of a facilitator of the Eastern Band of the Cherokee, of which Ray is a member.

Ray's been told that, if he cannot get over his amnesia, he will be discharged and sent to a Veteran's Administration facility. When he learns of a possible way of regaining his memory using traditional Indian medicines, he begs Joe to take him through it – even if there is a possibility it could be fatal.

I am from Southern California and spent twenty-three years in the US Army. I retired in 1980 and moved to Las Vegas. I met and married Alejandrina in Mazatlan, Mexico and she has helped me become fluent in Spanish. Bluewood Publishing has released three of my historical novels about the founding of the California missions – Father Serra's Legacy. However, I just do not feel that this work is a good fit for them.

As per your submission guidelines, a synopsis is attached.

Thank you for your consideration,

Sincerely,
Drop by Father Serra's Legacy http://msgdaleday.blogspot.com. Comments always eagerly awaited - but only if you find the item interesting enough to respond to.

longknife
Posts: 185
Joined: September 16th, 2012, 2:03 pm
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Re: Query for Sonora Symphony

Post by longknife » April 29th, 2015, 4:21 pm

Okay, after lots of great suggestions, here another version:

Dear xxx,


He jerks upright, fists clenched, stomach cramped in agony, He can't remember what roused him. He knows not who he is, where he came from, or how he came to be in a hospital hooked up to tubes and lines.

I am seeking representation for Sonora Symphony, a contemporary novel of 109,000 words.

This is a unique approach to a serious problem facing tens of thousands suffering from Post -Traumatic Symptom Disorder. It effects military and civilians alike. A program of healing Marines suffering PTSD via American Indian healing was tried at Camp Pendelton, California but I do not know why or when it was discontinued. I was fortunate in that mine was dealt with over the years, although I still react badly to the sound of gun fire decades later.

Staff Sergeant Ray Daniels is lost in the fog of war, alone and nobody will tell him anything. Frustrated and angry at being poked and prodded and asked questions for which he has no answers, Ray leaves the hospital and with but twenty dollars in his pocket, sets off into the night. His spirit guides lead him to a small all-night diner on the edge of the Sonora Desert.

A Tohono O'odham veteran takes Ray into his home and, in an effort to heal him, shows him the surrounding desert. Joe Redmond feeds him good food and herbs, as well as sharing stories and legends of The People. Slowly and in bits and pieces, Ray regains snippets of memories.

Army regulations state that, if his amnesia is not cured, Ray will be discharged and sent to a Veteran's Administration facility. Ray learns he is a member of the Eastern Band of the Cherokee. When Joe indicates there is a possible way of regaining Ray's memory using traditional Indian medicines. Ray begs Joe to take him through it – even if there is a possibility it could be fatal.

I am from Southern California and spent twenty-three years in the US Army. I retired in 1980 and moved to Las Vegas. Bluewood Publishing has released three of my historical novels about the founding of the California missions – Father Serra's Legacy.

As per your submission guidelines, a synopsis is attached.

Your blog and agency website indicate your interest in the American west and spirituality. Thank you for your consideration,

Sincerely,
Drop by Father Serra's Legacy http://msgdaleday.blogspot.com. Comments always eagerly awaited - but only if you find the item interesting enough to respond to.

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Beethovenfan
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Re: Query for Sonora Symphony

Post by Beethovenfan » June 8th, 2015, 5:28 am

Hi Longknife,
I only have one small thing to add. PTSD is the acronym for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm sure agents will know that, so just thought it will only help if you get that little bit right. :D
Best of luck!
"Don't only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine."
~ Ludwig van Beethoven

longknife
Posts: 185
Joined: September 16th, 2012, 2:03 pm
Contact:

Re: Query for Sonora Symphony

Post by longknife » June 8th, 2015, 11:56 am

Beethovenfan wrote:Hi Longknife,
I only have one small thing to add. PTSD is the acronym for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm sure agents will know that, so just thought it will only help if you get that little bit right. :D
Best of luck!
It is not longer medically considered a "disorder" I know it's picky, but I need to be extremely accurate in a query.

Anyhow, no more queries until I hear back from the publisher.
Drop by Father Serra's Legacy http://msgdaleday.blogspot.com. Comments always eagerly awaited - but only if you find the item interesting enough to respond to.

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