Search found 10 matches

by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 5:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for Kinetic: The First Alliance (YA Sci-Fi)
Replies: 0
Views: 2034

Query for Kinetic: The First Alliance (YA Sci-Fi)

Kinetic: The First Alliance is the story of intergalactic betrayal and revenge that will forever shape the lives of five teens back on Earth as they struggle to find the meaning of their existences and keep their humanity in the process. One by one, they’re forced them to fight a war light years awa...
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 5:13 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis for Kinetic: The First Alliance (YA Sci-Fi)
Replies: 0
Views: 5988

Synopsis for Kinetic: The First Alliance (YA Sci-Fi)

ALEX CARTER thought he was just an average, unlucky teen stumbling through life. One night, he asked the only family he had left, his Grandpa HENRY if he could be excused. For whatever reason, the haunting glow of their old TV set offered little distraction from the splitting headache that attacked ...
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 5:10 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopses...
Replies: 3
Views: 1774

Re: Synopses...

1.
a brief or condensed statement giving a general view of some subject.

2.
a compendium of heads or short paragraphs giving a view of the whole.

3.
a brief summary of the plot of a novel, motion picture, play, etc.
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 5:07 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: get in the habit of writing every day with me
Replies: 4
Views: 2655

Re: get in the habit of writing every day with me

Great idea, if I wasn't finished with my MS, I'd definitely join you.
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 5:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query YA- The Last
Replies: 3
Views: 1649

Re: Query YA- The Last

I don't think the order matters as much as the content. The story seems solid, and I would check it out.
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 5:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Blurb: Which is better?
Replies: 6
Views: 1641

Re: Query Blurb: Which is better?

Without a doubt, #2.
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 4:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Does this Blurb Make You Want to Read the Novel?
Replies: 4
Views: 1118

Re: Does this Blurb Make You Want to Read the Novel?

I think for the target audience you are going for, they would want to give it a look. Its a very specific niche, though. Your genre isn't easy, so I take my hat off to you for going for it. The query is well written, but maybe add more suspense and peril for the protag. I wish you the best of luck.
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 4:56 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE ROOTS OF A TAINTED SAPLING - (Dystopian)
Replies: 1
Views: 1092

Re: THE ROOTS OF A TAINTED SAPLING - (Dystopian)

I think the experience and struggles you've faced in your own life give you the most credibility. The book sounds interesting, and I hope you explain why there are only two cities left. Good luck.
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 4:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - ONE OF YOU WILL BETRAY ME
Replies: 2
Views: 1074

Re: Query - ONE OF YOU WILL BETRAY ME

It doesn't really feel like a query, more of a summary. I know the two are similar, but this is missing the essential hook at the beginning to catch the reader. I recommend maybe adding a little more backstory to the first paragraph. For some reason, it felt vague to me, and I couldn't really unders...
by herro raymond
February 18th, 2016, 4:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: How's this query grab ya? NOBODY'S FOOL
Replies: 2
Views: 1060

Re: How's this query grab ya? NOBODY'S FOOL

I agree with Nathan, the short query is missing that pivotal hook that grabs you while the longer one at least paints a picture of the world you've created. Definitely go with the longer one. Good luck!