Search found 17 matches
- November 20th, 2010, 9:07 am
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Query Critique Friday 11/19/10
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18727
Re: Query Critique Friday 11/19/10
Love the story line. I totally get the she's seduced by evil plot, but then has to destroy who she loves to get total power. Love the name Candida, reminds me of Voltaire. Candide- meaning optimism. There does seem to be numerous character names for a query, so maybe try to cut it down to the nitty ...
- January 10th, 2010, 10:52 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Help- FORSAKEN
- Replies: 40
- Views: 14662
Re: Query Help- FORSAKEN
Hi Notw, I disagree with Dankrubis wholeheartedly. Query letters can be a tricky thing. Cutting down a whole book into it's essence, while creating intrigue, interest and showing writing prowess is certainly hard for all of us, hence the forum. While it could use some tightening, I find your writing...
- January 10th, 2010, 10:12 pm
- Forum: Books
- Topic: POLL: Where do you buy your books?
- Replies: 21
- Views: 9748
Re: POLL: Where do you buy your books?
All of the above and sometimes even at the bus depot...I have an addictive personality, can you tell?
- January 10th, 2010, 12:58 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW query
- Replies: 12
- Views: 5823
Re: THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW query
Ah God. I can't believe I'm doing this! It's intimidating, but helpful hopefully Dear [agent], Burned-out newspaper editor Michael Reed reluctantly takes a call from a disgraced former nun that changes his life forever. The desperate woman’s request that he meet her son sets Michael on a quest to d...
- January 9th, 2010, 1:02 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Help- FORSAKEN
- Replies: 40
- Views: 14662
Re: Query Help- FORSAKEN
Hi all, Below is a copy of my query. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I also had a questions, what would you do in the section where you put information about yourself if you are 21, have no prior publications or degree that will help sell yourself? Dear Agent, I am seeking representat...
- January 7th, 2010, 10:27 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: TWO SIDES OF TRUTH - Critique away!
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3558
Re: TWO SIDES OF TRUTH - Critique away!
thanks guys so much for your great help! Here is the newer version. I ussed all what you guys suggested. I am honestly not great at queries so I am very thankful for this help. Dear Wonderful agent, Kirby was forced to move into the small town of Capingham with her grandma when her parents were mur...
- January 7th, 2010, 9:39 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8249
Re: AUTUMN LEAVES - Query Help
First off, I promise to haunt this forum and try my best to provide constructive feedback to others. ---- My request: Please destroy this query letter - it's the only way it's going to get better. Thanks in advance for your help!! Dear Awesome Agent: When seventeen year-old Autumn Reed receives her...
- January 4th, 2010, 8:58 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3626
Re: THE NINTH STEP-query try
Thanks Yoshima! I didn't want to refer to 'survivor guilt' because some might confuse my story with the paranormal. (He wants to confront a ghost now?) I like your example of a point by point plot process to explain, it's actually not that bad. I'll incorporate it for my next revision. Thanks again....
- January 4th, 2010, 7:35 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: What to do with multiple query versions
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1550
Re: What to do with multiple query versions
I like to see the whole process, and then make suggestions that incorporate all versions.
- January 4th, 2010, 7:32 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears
- Replies: 13
- Views: 6667
Re: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears
This story sounds like an fun adventure! Hope all the best for you!
- January 4th, 2010, 7:19 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3626
Re: THE NINTH STEP-query try
Thanks for pointing out the confusing parts. I've had trouble with how much info dumping to do in a query, so maybe you can help me sort it out. 1) Laura is not a new psychologist-she had previously worked in a hospital, but recently begun a private practice. 2) Laura was recommended by a colleague ...
- January 3rd, 2010, 10:57 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3626
THE NINTH STEP-query try
Dear Awesome Agent, [Personalization] When infamous James Duke stepped into Dr. Laura Masters' fledgling office she was both excited and intimidated. Certainly, she needed the money and his celebrity added a challenge to his mental care, but if she failed miserably it could cost her her reputation a...
- January 3rd, 2010, 8:40 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Critique - The Volatiles
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3726
Re: Query Critique - The Volatiles
I love the line "not knowing the secrets that hide behind the image." Succinct and telling-well done. You have a great voice. I'm only confused by the girl not being able to protect herself if she is more powerful. Is she just naive?
- January 3rd, 2010, 8:25 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: (Revised) Beating the Heart- Query Critique :)
- Replies: 18
- Views: 7566
Re: (Revised) Beating the Heart- Query Critique :)
Attempt #3 is certainly the best so far, now you just need to punch it up a bit! More tension is needed in her saving mom versus boyfriend again.
- January 3rd, 2010, 8:11 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!
- Replies: 9
- Views: 5045
Re: EUPHORIA-- 1st query attempt!
I love your voice. Try to cut down all the adjectives (less is more). And try to incorporate how the sister tries to destroy her brother. (She's mentioned and then drops from the query-I know it's hard when you have complicated characters who are intertwined like they are, to explain it all succinct...