Search found 83 matches

by GaoYuQing
August 31st, 2022, 8:44 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query:THE OUTBACK GRACE MOTEL UpmarketFiction
Replies: 2
Views: 3781

Re: Query:THE OUTBACK GRACE MOTEL UpmarketFiction

Interesting premise. My initial impulse was a Canterbury Tales vibe from your query, though I see its more from your synopsis. query: I liked the hook, up until the last line. "When the Privileged meet the Powerless somebody’s life will change" The term "Privileged/Privilege" is ...
by GaoYuQing
August 31st, 2022, 8:18 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy - Born to Battle
Replies: 2
Views: 1812

Re: Fantasy - Born to Battle

Thank you Bernhard. I made some changes, both from what you said and some other feedback. Swapped some sections too, which might go in opposition to your specific feedback, but curious since others suggested it. Dear XXX XXXX, I am writing to seek representation for my first novel, Born to Battle, a...
by GaoYuQing
August 26th, 2022, 8:58 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 207
Views: 177953

Re: NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: Born to Battle Markus staggered under the weight of the dead body, finally falling to one knee in exhaustion. After two days, his fur and armor were stiff with dried blood, its copper tang lingering in his nostrils. Around him, the rest of the band walked in respectful silence, not looking at...
by GaoYuQing
August 26th, 2022, 8:52 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: agent seeks author investment
Replies: 2
Views: 5114

Re: agent seeks author investment

If they ask for your money, they are a scam. At best a vanity press, and at worse, outright exploitive.
by GaoYuQing
August 26th, 2022, 8:49 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy - Born to Battle
Replies: 2
Views: 1812

Fantasy - Born to Battle

Okay, been a while since I've been here due to discouragement with life and my own writing efforts, but I'm rallying my time and resources to have another go at querying. I would appreciate any feedback you can offer. I'll make the rounds to see if I can offer my two pence for others in return (thou...
by GaoYuQing
May 24th, 2012, 8:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Contemporary Fiction - 'Jigsaw Boy'
Replies: 6
Views: 3644

Re: YA Contemporary Fiction - 'Jigsaw Boy'

It's concise, but perhaps you've made it too much so. We don't want a synopsis, but perhaps give us a bit more to work with. Are there any other major plot events? Tease us with a little more info to bring us in and want to read this story. Right now you spend more time talking about yourself than y...
by GaoYuQing
May 23rd, 2012, 8:43 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Hunted
Replies: 1
Views: 2119

Re: Query: Hunted

Ok first this comes off as more of a synopsis than a query. At this point the only reason we would read the book now would be to fill in the details. Also, I warn you now, there are a TON of grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc errors in this letter. If you sent something this rough it would be the k...
by GaoYuQing
May 23rd, 2012, 7:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Contemporary Fiction - 'Jigsaw Boy'
Replies: 6
Views: 3644

Re: YA Contemporary Fiction - 'Jigsaw Boy'

Wow, a teenager writing this? Very impressive. I know my first attempt at a query wasn't this good :) Dear Agent, I am currently seeking representation for JIGSAW BOY, my contemporary young adult novel, complete at 46,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Malorie Blackman, who also approaches serious...
by GaoYuQing
May 21st, 2012, 8:49 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Born to Bondage query - Revised final-updated 5/15/12
Replies: 10
Views: 5315

Re: Born to Bondage query - Revised final-updated 5/15/12

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad I included the potion bit too as its effects really are the source of the most immediate dramatic change in the MC and the source of many minor changes in the following novels. To say more would give too much away, but I think it needed to be included. I hadn’t orig...
by GaoYuQing
May 16th, 2012, 10:54 am
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Contructing a Fantasy Super writing group
Replies: 49
Views: 32590

Re: Contructing a Fantasy Super writing group

Well I'm new to this whole field so we'll see. Kinda going by feel here :) What I liked about the sound of DII was, actually, the stringency required by the group. You have to do at least 2 crits of at least 250 words each every month or you're kicked out. For every submission of your own you have t...
by GaoYuQing
May 16th, 2012, 10:48 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Trees
Replies: 0
Views: 11012

Re: Trees

I think you wanted to post this in the query or synopsis thread.
by GaoYuQing
May 16th, 2012, 10:41 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Suspense Query- The Verge
Replies: 8
Views: 3996

Re: Suspense Query- The Verge

Ok, I didn't read the previous versions or the comments, so I'll be doing my best to address this on its own merit. I've taken some of the proffered advice for this next attempt- is this any better? __________________________________ In The Verge , a suspense at 86,000 words, Angela Sheppard has one...
by GaoYuQing
May 15th, 2012, 2:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Born to Bondage query - Revised final-updated 5/15/12
Replies: 10
Views: 5315

Re: Born to Bondage query - Revised final-updated 5/10/12

Ok, taking into consideration the previous comments as well as my "gut" as to what details I really want to focus the story on--at risk of making it seem as if there's not a lot of action, here we go. (I don't know if there's a time limit you're supposed to wait out before reposting, but o...
by GaoYuQing
May 15th, 2012, 11:41 am
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Contructing a Fantasy Super writing group
Replies: 49
Views: 32590

Re: Contructing a Fantasy Super writing group

Thanks. I think I may pass for the first book, but come revisit this for the second. Don't know when that will be though. Might be sooner rather than later. I'm currently bouncing between revising the second, while polishing the first and don't want to overextend myself. I'm considering applying to ...
by GaoYuQing
May 15th, 2012, 10:27 am
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Contructing a Fantasy Super writing group
Replies: 49
Views: 32590

Re: Contructing a Fantasy Super writing group

Well I'm interested, though I confess I'm a little confused about how this would all work, being unfamiliar with the lecture series in question. Perhaps you could give a quick walkthrough of how this exchange would work? I'm kind of with Joe though, I feel like I'm in the final polishing stage befor...