Search found 10 matches

by dpwriter
July 27th, 2023, 9:05 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 207
Views: 178166

Re: NEW - Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: Wavestruck Author; Dawn Pier Genre: Memoir Somewhere inside my dreams I sensed them, their intensity mounting, until at first light, the sound of waves breaking outside my bedroom window resembled bombs detonating. `I sat up and the sight of swell lines ten-deep advancing towards the shore ma...
by dpwriter
October 6th, 2010, 2:03 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Composting
Replies: 0
Views: 988

Composting

My garbage doesn’t stink. It’s entirely dry and doesn’t attract flies or other critters. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not analogous to saying that my shit doesn’t stink - it does. And it would surely draw flies were it to lie around like our garbage does. It takes a long time to fill a bag of gar...
by dpwriter
October 2nd, 2010, 11:38 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10
Replies: 32
Views: 38883

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10

somehow I missed a bunch of feedback when I was going over this - I also really agree with dsmith77's comments about how you could SHOW us more instead of telling us so much. This paragraph almost reads like a synopsis more than the opening paragraph of a book, so I think dsmith77 is on to something...
by dpwriter
October 2nd, 2010, 11:34 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10
Replies: 32
Views: 38883

Re: Page Critique Friday 10/1/10

Great premise for a story! I'm intrigued and would keep reading. I agree with Dearth of Reason's suggested changes to tighten the writing up. I would however remove the line about the angel's "helping" - too much telling. It's more mysterious without that line. Keep up the good work! and l...
by dpwriter
September 13th, 2010, 11:09 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Which book have you read the most number of times?
Replies: 90
Views: 31298

Re: Which book have you read the most number of times?

Childhood books would be Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham . As an adult I've read Coming Through Slaughter by Michael Ondaatje several times because of its sensuality and darkness and also his collection of poems There's a Trick With a Knife I'm Learning to Do . Even the title is amazing! I wan...
by dpwriter
September 13th, 2010, 10:56 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Memoir as a first book
Replies: 6
Views: 2267

Memoir as a first book

I'd like some feedback on something that I realize one could go either way with. Nevertheless, I'd like to hear your (and ideally Nathan's) opinion on this. Is it a bad idea to write a memoir as your first book? Is there the risk of writing yourself into a corner and then not getting back out? Or pu...
by dpwriter
September 3rd, 2010, 8:58 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 9/3/10
Replies: 21
Views: 30082

Re: Page Critique Friday 9/3/10

Good job Rebecca! I agree with everyone that you are very good at dialogue. Also that you need to give us a bit more background on where they are. But aside from that, I was only confused about what sport we were talking about. I think you can slow it down in an actual book to give us a bit more inf...
by dpwriter
August 28th, 2010, 7:02 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: Important Announcement About Page Critiques, 8/16/10
Replies: 8
Views: 4768

Re: Important Announcement About Page Critiques, 8/16/10

Well, I'm happy either way, but I will point out that by moving it here, you forced me to sign up and check out the forums! Thanks for this constructive form of procrastination (I know I'm not the first one to say this, but it is SO true.)

Peace
by dpwriter
August 28th, 2010, 6:54 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10
Replies: 27
Views: 30253

Re: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10

I like a lot of the comments here and the first redline comment is pretty thorough. I won't belabor the points they've already made. First thing - I'm intrigued...the characters have potential and like the other reviewers said already, you just need to sharpen this to make it clearer. Second thing -...
by dpwriter
August 28th, 2010, 6:43 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 452012

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Working Title: Undaunted Genre: Memoir (247 words - note I had to truncate last paragraph to meet the word count) I guess I knew my marriage was over when I started to fantasize about my husband dying. I know, macabre. Brutal even. Every time the thought entered my head I tried to push it away, but ...